RVB Arrancars Meta Arc
by darkmachines
Summary: The next arc of the Red vs Blue series with Bleach characters.
1. Recovery One

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Recovery One! _

_Fade in on a dead red body and a dead blue body. In comes a soldier in dark armor with yellow highlights who leans down over one of the bodies and starts fidgeting, causing a green glow to emanate upon him._

**Voice**: Prime display activated. Restoring functions.

_The voice is revealed to be an A.I._

**A.I.**: Hello, how may I be of assistance to you?

**Soldier**: Instruction: identify yourself.

**A.I.**: Executing; I am intelligence program Delta, as created for the special operative program Freelancer. I have been assigned to agent Foxtrot Twelve. Or, York. My assignee was recently killed in combat.

**Soldier**: I noticed. Hold on.

_Radio sounds._

**Soldier**: Come in, Command. This is Recovery One. I've located the Delta A.I. He appears in tact.

**Command**: This is Command, we need a full inventory of the carrier's equipment before it's decommissioned.

**Recovery One**: Why do you need that?

**Command**: Recovery One, please respond to the directive. Perform a complete inventory.

**Recovery One**: Roger Command. Recovery One out. Delta, instruction: run a full system diagnostic, with detail on armor components, analyze inventory.

**Delta**: Executing, result: all components present. Armor at 70% peak capacity.

**Recovery One**: Not bad for an old locksmith. Hey, need you to start a countdown for me. One hundred on the clock.

**Delta**: Initiating. One hundred. Ninety-nine. Ninety-eight. May I make an inquiry?

**Recovery One**: Go ahead.

**Delta**: Why was I not destroyed?

**Recovery One**: What?

**Delta**: When an assignee is killed in action, protocol dictates that all intelligence programs be destroyed.

**Recovery One**: Yeah that's what they told me at first too. But you were encrypted until you could be recovered. I'm here to recover you.

**Delta**: Recovery carries risk. Destruction ensures that an A.I. will not fall in to enemy hands.

**Recovery One**: Are you complaining?

**Delta**: Not at all! Just noting a discrepency.

**Recovery One**: What do you want from me guy? You cost a lot of money, okay? It's cheaper to recover you than it is to delete you. Go bitch to the accountants.

**Delta**: If I have offended you, I do apologize.

**Recovery One**: Yeah, I'm all busted up about it. Now, store yourself in a portable component, okay? I'm moving you.

**Delta**: You could insert me in to your own A.I. slot. I do not show it as occupied.

**Recovery One**: I don't think so.

**Delta**: If you are having difficulty, I can walk you through the implantation procedure.

**Recovery One**: I don't do that.

**Delta**: Are you Agent Washington?

**Recovery One**: That's me.

**Delta**: Then I understand. You had, difficulties with your assigned A.I. unit.

**Washington**: Difficulties? Yeah, I suppose that's a word.

**Delta**: In that case, I must insist that you terminate my program. Destruction ensures that an A.I. will not fall in to-

**Washington**: Look, Delta, just relax. I don't think you're in any danger of getting hijacked by one of the four dead guys here with us.

**Delta**: Three.

**Washington**: What?

**Delta**: My sensors indicate only three inert human forms. Yourself and one other remain active.

**Washington**: Wha-

_Several rifle rounds shoot past Washington's head._

**Washington**: Huh!

_Washington starts running._

**Washington**: Great, thanks for telling me!

**Delta**: I suggest you return fire.

**Washington**: Ya think?

_A plasma grenade lands at Washington's feet._

**Washington**: Son of a-!

_Washington and Wyoming run past each other shooting, and Washington comes up dry._

**Washington**: Dammit.

_Wyoming reloads, then retreats._

**Washington**: What the hell?

**Delta**: Perhaps he realized that York's equipment was charged to detonate. Currently T-minus four,

**Washington**: Instruction! Storage, now!

**Delta**: Executing.

_Delta disappears back in to York._

**Delta**: Two. One.

_Washington collects Delta and jumps off the building as York's body explodes behind him, and lands below._

**Washington**: Well, at least that was easier than the last one.

_Radio sounds as Washington starts jogging._

**Command**: Recovery One, this is Command, we have a level one distress signal, immediate response necessary.

**Washington**: I just wrapped that up, Command. I'm headed home.

**Command**: Negative, Recovery One, this is a new signal.

**Washington**: That's the fifth one this month.

**Command**: Affirmative.

**Washington**: _(sigh)_ Alright, send me the coordinates.

_Washington reaches his jeep and drives off. The screen cuts to black._

**Washington**: I'm on my way.

_Fade in on a light purple soldier with a green trim standing over a dead darker purple soldier._

**Washington**: What I don't get is the motion tracker. No one can get by one of those while they're active. You sure you don't have anything in your logs? ... South. You with me? South!

**South**: What?

**Washington**: I need you to concentrate, South. Okay? I know he was your brother, but the sooner I can piece together what happened, sooner we can track this guy.

**South**: Right, uh, sorry.

**Washington**: Don't sweat it. Now, your logs. Nothing?

**South**: No, not even a ping.

**Washington**: And you didn't hear anything.

**South**: I heard him- I heard him scream. I came around the corner, and then, ...nothing.

**Washington**: You mean you didn't see the attacker?

**South**: No, I mean nothing. I heard him scream, I headed towards him, and then suddenly you're standing over me asking me if I'm alright and telling me my brother is dead.

**Washington**: Yeah. You were out about eight hours. North's armor started a level one distress and they got me here stat.

**South**: Yeah...

**Washington**: Level one, South. Something you wanna tell me?

**South**: I'm sure you already know.

**Washington**: I need you to confirm it.

**South**: He still had Theta.

**Washington**: Well I didn't find Theta on him, South. Did you take it?

**South**: No, I don't have it.

**Washington**: Do you still have yours?

**South**: No Wash, I never _had_ one. I was in the implant group behind you, remember? And after what happened to you, _nobody_ got any more.

**Washington**: Don't sound so bitter.

**South**: Of course not. Bitter wouldn't win the war, right?

**Washington**: ...I have to take care of your brother now, South. You might not want to watch this part.

**South**: Can I, have a few minutes alone with him first?

**Washington**: You can have one minute.

**South**: I guess I should say thank you.

**Washington**: I guess you should get busy. Your minute's already started.

_Washington walks away, but not too far, and we hear radio sounds._

**Command**: This is Recovery Command responding secure.

**Washington**: Command, this is Recovery One.

**Command**: Hello Wash, we have you secure, go ahead.

**Washington**: I'm on the scene.

**Command**: What's the status of the twins?

**Washington**: North is KIA. South is still functioning.

**Command**: What is the status of North's A.I.?

**Washington**: You guys knew he had Theta?

**Command**: Recovery One, please respond to the previous inquiry, what is the status of the artificial-

**Washington**: It's not here, okay? It's gone. This one's gone too.

**Command**: Understood. Please wait for directive. ... Find out what you can, clean up the agent, and report back.

**Washington**: Already on it.

**Command**: The whereabouts of Theta are top priority, Recovery One, you of all people do not need to be reminded.

**Washington**: No. You're right. I don't need to be reminded of anything.

**Command**: The mission is now level zero.

**Washington**: What?

**Command**: We need a full recovery of the current incident.

**Washington**: Are you serious?

**Command**: Recovery One, please confirm the previous directive. ... Recovery One please confirm you're now level zero, you are ordered-

**Washington**: Yeah. I got it.

_Washington walks back up to rejoin South._

**Washington**: Time's up. I'm sorry.

**South**: I always thought, being a twin was, a hard thing. Everyone always finds a way to put you together. It's like you're not considered two people. Even when we were kids, our parents dressed us alike, and when we joined up and got sent to the program, they stuck us together. People thought we were special somehow I suppose. I used to hate that. All I ever wanted was to have my own life. And here I am now, just wondering how I'm gonna live without him.

**Washington**: Yeah.

_Washington raises his pistol at South's head and fires as the screen cuts to black._

**Washington**: I wouldn't go worrying about that if I were you.

_Fade in to Washington standing over North and South._

**Washington**: You're dead now. Remember that.

**South**: (_getting up_) I don't understand any of this. And my ears are still ringing from that shot you fired.

**Washington**: It had to sound good for the radio. One second, I need to talk to somebody.

**Delta**:Hello, how may I be of assistance?

**South**: What, is that your A.I.? I thought it killed a-

**Washington**: Pipe down. We don't have time for explanations. Delta, have you been monitoring the situation?

**Delta**: I have.

**Washington**: Are we set here? Is she clean?

**Delta**: Can I interpret that to mean "is South now off of Command's active register?"

**Washington**: Yes.

**Delta**: Affirmative.

**South**: W-wh- What register?

**Washington**: Instruction: give me thirty on North's clock. Hold on the log.

**Delta**: Complying. Completed.

**Washington**: Now, log to Command and include a similar description of South's termination.

**Delta**: That would be dishonest.

**Washington**: Yes. It would.

**Delta**: Executing. Completed.

**South**: Wait a minute, w- how did you get him to lie?

**Washington**: There's a lot you don't know. We're moving. Delta, storage.

**Delta**: Complying...

_Delta's avatar fades._

**Washington**: Go.

**South**: No.

**Washington**: Excuse me?

**South**: I am not moving an inch until you tell me what the hell is going on.

**Washington**: Fine. Stay here with your brother then. Everyone thinks you're dead anyway. And in fifteen seconds, that will be true.

**Delta**: _Ten_ seconds.

**Washington**: No sweat off my back, just one less lie for me to live.

**South**: Hh, well... shit.

_North's body detonates, and we fade to a view overlooking the water from atop a building with sounds of controlled rifle firings._

**Delta**: I have been monitoring the comm channels.

**Washington**: Try again. I need you as accurate as possible if you're going to cover me.

**Delta**: Still no activity to indicate that Command suspects South is still alive.

**Washington**: Good. That means we're clear.

**Delta**: As much as you can be. And I would prefer if you did not use the word "we".

**Washington**: Hyeah, h- okay Delta. I promise to take the fall if we get caught.

**Delta**: ...

**Washington**: Right, sorry. If I get caught.

**Delta**: Thank you.

**Washington**: Now, South.

_South stops firing at pylons._

**Washington**: I need you to test something.

**Delta**: I have concerns about our next action. Agent South never rated for something like this.

**South**: Rated for what? What have you gotten me involved with?

**Washington**: I didn't get you involved in anything. It did when it came after your brother.

**Delta**: Agent Washington believes that something is hunting the Freelancers one by one.

**Washington**: In the last month I've been ordered to the sites of five different dying Freelancers in an effort to recover their intelligence programs.

**South**: Why you?

**Delta**: Agent Washington's experience with the Epsilon program makes him a primary candidate for recovery.

**South**: Epsilon? Epsilon went insane and killed itself inside his head! And from what I heard from the other recruits, he went nuts himself. Weren't you certified Article Twelve after that? Unfit for duty.

**Washington**: The people who certified me were the same people that uncertified me. Which, once they needed me, they did. Funny how the system works.

**Delta**: In either case, he is the logical choice. It is highly unlikely Wash would attempt to steal an A.I. for his own purposes.

**Washington**: Every Freelancer I've seen in the last four weeks has had three things in common: their A.I. was missing - but Delta here was left somehow; I think that was a fluke.

**Delta**: My assignee was killed in an unrelated firefight.

**Washington**: The agents were also dead, but for some reason you were left alive. And I wanna know, why that is.

**South**: You said three things. What's the third one?

**Washington**: During training, what enhancement did you get?

**South**: My armor enhancement? I can make a domed energy shield. Why?

**Washington**: Can you do it now?

**South**: Sure I h- wait a second-

**Delta**: The third thing they all had in common was that their enhancement was removed.

**Washington**: Just like yours. The Freelancers are being killed, South. And someone, or something, is stealing their A.I. and enhancements.

**Delta**: And now Agent Washington is trying to escort us back to headquarters as quickly as possible-

**Washington**: No. I'm not.

**Delta**: Excuse me?

**Washington**: We don't need to. I've been following the trail of this thing for a while now. But once I got you Delta that changed. Now we're the ones being followed. South being left alive was nothing more than bait to slow me down. This thing has already killed four different Freelancers, South.

**Delta**: All agents with higher battle ratings than Wash.

**Washington**: Yes, thank you for pointing that out Delta. I'm not going to be able to take it out by myself. Someone has to help me, protect Delta as well.

**Delta**: I see now. That is why you want me to implant in South.

**South**: Excuse me? In who?

**Delta**: The only way to properly protect me in combat is to integrate me in to your armor. Agent Washington will not allow me to do that.

**Washington**: And somebody has to.

**South**: I can't, a-I haven't been rated for implantation.

**Washington**: Well, make up your mind quickly. It's here.

**Delta**: My motion sensors-

**Washington**: Are going to be useless. South, get Delta in your head now, and flank left. We have to stand against this thing here-

_A rocket sails over Wash's head and hits the wall behind him._

**Washington**: Move!

_South approaches Delta._

**Delta**: I should warn you: the first implantation can feel a little... odd.

_Fade in to an A.I. lying on the ground. Cut to Washington, inside an enclosed room._

**Counselor Zommari**: Agent Washington? Agent Washington?

**Washington**: Sorry, what were you saying?

**Counselor**: Were you thinking about Epsilon again, Agent Washington?

**Washington**: No.

**Counselor**: What happened with Epsilon was not your fault, Agent Washington.

**Washington**: I didn't think it was.

**Counselor Zommari**: We have safeguards for the unstable emotional patterns of an artificial intelligence. Sometimes these algorithms fail.

**Washington**: Oh. So then it's your fault.

**Counselor**: We prefer to think of it as no one's fault.

**Washington**: Really.

**Counselor**: Just a possible, but rare, unfortunate outcome.

**Washington**: How convenient.

**Counselor**: Are you having new feelings about the incident?

**Washington**: No. Just the same old feelings. You know, that I had another person in my head, and I got to experience first-hand as their mind unraveled while mixed with my own. That I still have trouble distinguishing between its disintegrating thoughts and mine. You know, the usual.

**Counselor Zommari**: What about the hostility from other agents who lost out on assignments once we suspended the use of implants?

**Washington**: What about them? Am I supposed to feel bad for them, er something?

**Counselor**: Do you think you could work with an A.I. or another agent ever again?

**Washington**: ... No, I don't.

**Counselor**: Good. Then we have a job for you.

_Snap back to the present, with Washington in a firefight._

**Washington**: South! I need you out here now! Get over here right now, South! Where are you!?

_Cut to South's point of view, which is hazy and has Delta in the middle of it._

**Delta**: Keep breathing. Hearing my voice internally can be jarring, at first. I am told it helps clear the mind to concentrate on one thing. May I suggest that you try-

**South Dakota**: Will you please not talk for a second, that might help!

**Delta**: Technically, I am not talking.

**South**: Delta. Please!

**Delta**: My apologies.

**South**: Okay, I'm feeling better.

**Delta**: Remember to keep breathing.

**South**: Yes, I'll keep that in mind. How many enemies?

**Delta**: I do not detect any on my sensors. But the gunfire would indicate that we are facing only one. This is an atypical enemy. I can offer no advice.

**Washington**: South, I need you out here now!

**South**: I'm on my way!

**Delta**: I have functions that could assist in battle. Would you like me to run the tutorial program?

**South**: Are you kidding me?

_South arrives behind Wash at a building's corner, under fire._

**South**: Wash, I'm here.

**Washington**: Good, I need help on the left. This guy moves fast, so keep your eyes open. South, you okay?

**Delta**: She is experiencing difficulty with my presence.

**Washington**: How difficult?

**Delta**: Patient has trouble-

**South**: I'm fine! Let's get this guy.

**Washington**: No.

**South**: No?

**Washington**: See that ship?

_Cut to a parked Alien sip sitting on the edge of an incomplete ramp._

**Washington:** You get to it and take off. Get yourself and more importantly Delta back to base. I'll cover you as best I can.

**Delta**: Wash, is your armor adequately compensating for your wounds?

**South**: You're hit?

**Washington**: Just twice, I'm fine. Movement on twos. On my mark: sync.

**South**: But-

**Washington**: Sync!

**South**: Sync!

**Washington**: Move!

_Washington moves from cover, but South immediately shoots him in the back. Washington screams in pain. Delta's color changes to red, then a dark purple._

**Delta**: Alarm! Friendly target, cease fire!

**South**: Calm down, just stacking the deck in our favor.

_South steps in front of the Meta, who is glowing, changing colors, and reloading a Brute Shot._

**South**: Listen to what I'm about to say, because you have a choice. Wash is dead. I put a timed charge on his body. So if you want his equipment you'd better get it, now. Or, you can come after us, and lose it for sure. So, what's it going to be. Chase us in hopes of beating us? Or go for the sure thing, and find us another day.

**Enemy**: (_growls_)

_The adversary runs off to the right._

**South**: Smart move.

_South flees. Radio sounds._

**South**: Come in Command.

**Command**: Hello Recovery Two, what is your status?

**South**: Mission accomplished Command. We were able to draw out the enemy, just as you projected. Sending logs now.

**Command**: Excellent news. We'll use the data to devise a new strategy to combat it. What is the status of Recovery One?

**South**: KIA. The enemy took him down.

_South gets in the ship and starts slowly flying away._

**Command**: Understood. Was Wash ever aware of your efforts at any time?

**South**: Negative. He acted exactly as the profile predicted. He even set up the encounter.

**Command**: Return to base, we'll rate you for implantation as agreed.

**South**: Negative.

**Command**: Say again, Recovery Two?

**South**: Negative. You got what you wanted, and I have my A.I. now. You won't be hearing from me again. Goodbye.

_Cut to Washington's lifeless body lying on the ground. The enemy stands over him._

**Command**: South, you know we have other agents. We will find you, South.

_Cut to black._

**South**: It's not you I'm worried about.

**Ok every one here the start of the next Red vs Blue Arc with new characters and action. Also don't worry you all learn who everyone is in time Ok. So sit back and enjoy. However, here one new character, the Counselor is Zommari. **


	2. Intro

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Intro! _

_Fade in to Outpost 17-B: "Valhalla" - Post-War: Year One. Two grey soldiers crest a hill, one with red highlights and one with blue highlights._

**Voice**: A memo, to the chairman of the Oversight Sub-committee from the Director of Project Freelancer.

_As the voice continues, the two soldiers run around the ruined Valhalla outpost, blow up a barricade, enter the red base, and look around at various scenes of carnage as they are described._

**Director**: Dear Chairman, I write today in response to your committee's request for more information about our program and the suspected incident at Outpost 17-B. No doubt by now, you have reviewed the video logs transmitted by our Recovery agents dispatched to the region. I am sure you have seen the empty bases; the barricades constructed by the survivors. The cryptic warning left on the wall. The battles that apparently took place between team members that had turned on one another. And of course... the ship.

_Cut to the two soldiers on ATVs at the scene of a downed transport ship, suddenly attacked by an invisible soldier and killed._

**Director**: While we cannot say for certain, I share your concern we have an unfortunate post-project scenario taking place. However, I take exception to your assertion that we were warned this was a possibility.

_On a wall in the base is scratched WE ARE THE META, which then transforms on a black screen to a series of greek characters which resolve to RECONSTRUCTION._

**Director**: I would like to remind the Sub-committee members, that anything is possible. Some things are probable. This is, what is. And my agency as it always has, will continue to deal with what is... until it is no more.

**That right the Reconstruction part of the Arc has started. Please review on who you with to see in this. Though has to be Arrancars characters for now.**_  
><em>


	3. Chapter 1

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 1! _

_Fade in to dead bodies in grey armor, followed by a massive reconstruction effort._

**Voice**: To the Director of Project Freelancer, from the Oversight Sub-committee Chairman.

_Cut to a soldier calling his captain over to a cave entrance._

**Soldier**: Captain Rivas! We've got something over here!

**Chairman (voice over)**: Dear Director, I want to thank you in advance for your openness in response to our Sub-committee's request for more information.

_The captain and several other soldiers run over to the cave where they find a soldier in red armor hiding. The scene then fades to the Red soldier being escorted by two grey soldiers through a video surveiled hallway at a UNSC Ops center._

**Chairman (voice over)**: We were... disappointed that your Recovery force reported a total loss at Outpost 17-B. We had hoped there would be at least one soldier left, that could shed some light on the situation. I know that your agency has enjoyed a high degree of freedom with very little scrutiny in the past few years.

**PA Voice**: Attention, all personnel: decks kilo one, delta one, sierra one... ...are closed for maintenance.

**Chairman (voice over)**: It is not our intention to disrupt such a, progressive military program; but instead to find a way we can work together, in a manner that befits all our responsibilities. I am certain that you will agree. And we look forward to making this review process as painless as we possibly can.

_The Red soldier is brought to a room with several large view screens with various displays on them, the Counselor's face appears on the screen in the center of them._

**Counselor Zommari**: Thank you gentlemen, would you please excuse us?

_The two soldiers walk away, leaving the Red soldier in the room._

**Counselor**: You are Private Royd Llyod, correct?

**Royd**: Yes Sir!

**Couselor Zommari**: You can dispense with the formalities, Royd. Please feel comfortable to speak as candidly as you wish. Can you tell us what happened at your outpost, Royd?

**Royd**: Yes Sir-ah, yes. I had been there about six months. Everything was pretty much like normal and one day this... ship... crashed.

**Counselor**: I see. Is this the ship to which you are referring?

_A holographic representation of the downed transport ship appears._

**Royd**: Yeah. Yeah that's it.

**Counselor**: Please, tell me what was on the ship, Walter.

**Royd**: I don't know. The Blues got there first. They fought us off while they cleared it out. Took the stuff back to Base. By the time we got a hold of it it just seemed like a regular old transport. Our engineer said some of the wiring had been messed with but he didn't seem, you know, worried about it or nothing like that.

**Counselor**: I see. Thank you for that.

**Royd**: But whatever was on the ship, must have been what started the whole thing.

**Counselor**: Please Walter, define "thing."

**Royd**: The infection. The Blues just stopped fighting us. Some of them set up camp outside their base and trapped the rest of their team inside; blew up their com tower for some reason. Their own com tower... Then they blew up ours. That's why we couldn't radio for help, we couldn't figure out why they would do that. After that, nothing. No word from them at all. The CO sent a squad over... all the Blues were dead. They had killed each other.

**Counselor: **Why do you think they did that?

**Royd:**I don't know. They had torn the radios out of their helmets and dismantled their computers. The CO said they were trying to build something...but I saw all the stuff, no way! They were trying to break it. And there was another body in there too. Not a Blue, somebody else. Actually, she looked like him.

_Royd looks over to a grey clad soldier standing in the corner._

**Counselor**: Don't worry about him for now, Royd. Please, continue.

**Royd**: We brought all the equipment back to base and brought it online. And that's when the infection started for us.

**Counselor**: The soldiers became... sick?

**Royd**: No. They just... they were different. Off. We would catch guys getting into areas they shouldn't get into. But the weird thing was, a guy would go crazy, act up, and then we would throw him in a cell, and he would be fine. Then another guy would go nuts, disobey orders. Like trying to bring the com tower back online even though we were told to leave it be. Maybe they knew it was coming.

**Councilor**: They knew what was coming?

**Royd**: At first we thought it was help. It ransacked Blue Base, searched all the bodies... then it came after us. Seemed focused on the guys that were infected. Eventually, it just started killing everything.

**Counselor**: Could you describe it for us, Royd?

**Royd**: Not really. It moved fast, when we first saw it, and after Blue Base it was... it was different.

**Counselor**: In what way, different?

**Royd**: It looked... like it wasn't there. I don't know how to explain it.

**Counselor Zommari**: That's alright. I know this has been difficult for you Royd. We're going to do everything we can to help you.

_Two soldiers in grey walk up behind Royd._

**Counselor**: Please, follow these men to your new quarters. You'll be with us as long as absolutely necessary. You have my word.

_Royd follows them out of the room._

**Counselor**: Agent Washington, what do you make of all this?

**Washington**: I think it sounds like exactly what I encountered.

**Counselor**: Mhm.

**Washington**: Except it's stronger now, and becoming more so all the time.

**Counselor**: Does that concern you?

**Washington**: It doesn't make me excited.

**Counselor**: You've been through alot with this program, Agent Washington. The Epsilon A.I. we assigned you-

**Washington**: Has already been discussed to death. I'm over it.

**Counselor**: Now your, physical problems... because of your last encounter-

**Washington**: I'm better now. Mentally and physically.

**Counselor**: Our profile of you disagrees with your assesment.

**Washington**: Look, the last mission I ran against this thing, I got shot in the back by my own partner.

**Counselor**: Agent South. We feel some... responsibility for that.

_A video appears on the screen showing South shooting Washington in the back._

**Washington**: Yeah, you should. If I hadn't had York's healing unit, I'd be dead now. So while this isn't ideal and I don't feel like sticking my neck out for you guys, if it puts me on a path that leads to her, you can trust me at least that far.

**Counselor Zommari**: So you would say that you have overwhelming feelings of anger, and a need for revenge?

**Washington**: More than you know.

**Counselor Zommari**: Excellent. Now that our agency is under investigation, the Director feels it is important for us to be as open as possible. With each other. If our suspicions are correct, the Meta has made another addition: the Omega A.I.

**Washington**: It was Omega and... Tex right?

**Counselor**: Yes, it was.

**Washington**: The Meta doesn't leave much behind. It's gonna be hard to track.

**Counselor**: We think the best place for you to start, would be the Omega's last known location. The soldiers there have the most experience with our program.

**Washington**: I see. So I should contact these experts-

**Counselor**: We do not like the term "experts."

**Washington**: Because no one really knows what our program is doing?

**Counselor**: Let's just say the term "expert" is a little too... complimentary in this particular case. Do you still have your old suit of armor?

**Washington**: Of course. Wait... why?

_Washington suddenly appears in Blood Gulch in older looking armor with the same colors._

**Washington**: Oh, great


	4. Chapter 2

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 2! _

**Voice**: A response, from the Director of Project Freelancer. Dear Chairman.

_Fade in to the old familiar Gulch._

**Director**: While I am obligated to assist your investigation, I ask that you not waste my time with irrelevant questions. My agency is normally unconcerned with such minute directives as troop reassignment. Except of course, in the most critical of matters.

_Cut to Washington in front of an apparently abandoned Blue Base._

**Washington**: Hello? Hello. Anybody here?

_Radio sounds._

**Washington**: Recovery One calling Command. Come in Command.

**Command**: Go ahead Recovery One, we have you.

**Washington**: I'm at Outpost 1-A. Looks deserted.

**Command**: Roger that. See if you can find any evidence that would suggest where they all might have-

_A yellow and angry soldier appears in the base._

**Sister**: Hey! A-hole! What's with all the noise? People are trying to sleep here!

**Washington**: Um... scratch that Command. It appears I've found someone. Recovery One out.

_Sister descends the ramp slowly, as if hungover._

**Sister**: Ohhh man.

**Washington**: Hi. I'm Agent Washington. This is Blue Base, correct?

**Sister**: It was.

**Washington**: Was?

**Sister**: Everybody's gone. Transferred. Something about this base being obsolete now, or, whatever.

**Washington**: Rright. Where did they go?

**Sister**: I don't know! All different places. Nobody told me anything.

**Washington**: Well, I'm trying to locate some people who have experience with the Freelancer program.

**Sister**: Freelancer? Is that the band we had here last night?

**Washington**: You had a party here?

**Sister**: Hyeah! I throw raves every night. Charge five bucks a head. Last night, I made ten bucks. Ooah ooah! Nice.

**Washington**: You use the base for raves? That doesn't seem like the proper use for official resources.

**Sister**: What're you, like a cop or something?

**Washington**: No.

**Sister**: 'Cause if you are, and I ask you, then you have to tell me. That's totally a law or something.

**Washington**: I'm not the police. And that's not a real law.

**Sister**: Well if you're not a cop, then how do you know it's not a real law? Busted!

**Washington**: You caught me. Hey, is there anybody else... smart... here that I can talk to?

**Sister**: Hyeah, right. Like I'm gonna tell you. I don't rat people out. Cop.

**Washington**: Okay, I'm gonna leave now. Good luck with your empty base and your raging insanity.

**Sister**: Hyeah? Whatever! Good luck with being a cop, cop!

_Cut to Washington approaching Red Base, and some more radio sounds._

**Washington**: Come in Command.

**Command**: Hello Washington. We have you? How was the investigation at Blue Base?

**Washington**: Enlightening. Going to try the red base now, I'm hoping things there will be a little more...

_A pink popup of Charlotte springs up for no apparent reason_

**Washington**: ...normal.

**Baraggan**: Halt, in the name of the red- *clears throat* I mean "lightish red army. This base is operating at full capacity. And if you come in here, you're gonna get in to a big uhn-uh slap-fight!"

**Washington**: Heuhhh... I'm gonna have to call you back.

**Baraggan**: Don't come any further, ooh la la.

_As Washington continues approaching, a maroon popup of Findor springs out from behind a rock._

**Baraggan**: This is your last warning, stay out! I love math!

**Washington**: What in the...

**Baraggan**: Your only hope of survival is to kiss my commander's ass!

_Washington continues on and an orange popup of Nirgge filled with bullet holes seems to appear from out of nowhere._

**Baraggan**: And this is another warning: I know the other warning was supposed to be last, but I never listen to orders, 'cause I'm too lazy and stupid! And ugly. Did I mention ugly?

**Washington**: This is gonna be a waste of time, I can tell already.

_Baraggan pops up in front of Washington._

**Baraggan**: Yeah, freeze intruder! Stop yer intrudin' right there.

**Washington**: Who made these things?

**Baraggan**: I did.

**Washington**: Wait, you're real?

**Baraggan**: Of course I am. You fell for a classic misdirection. I still got it. Heh heh.

**Dordoni**: ¿Esta todo bien aquí?( Everything OK out here?)

**Baraggan**: We're fine, Dordoni. Just caught myself a dirty Blue. How many does that make this week?

**Dordoni**: Uno.

**Baraggan**: Yahtzee. We're on a hot streak!

**Washington**: Uh, I'm not actually a Blue. I'm from Command.

_Baraggan lowers his shotgun._

**Baraggan**: Command, no kiddin'. I didn't think we were due for inspection.

**Washington**: You're not. I was hoping you could tell me about the soldiers transferred out of this outpost.

**Baraggan**: You mean Nirgge and Findor? Those traitors. I told 'em not to go! The battle here isn't even over yet.

**Washington**: Um, it looks over to me.

**Baraggan**: Not while there's a single Blue left in this canyon. Which there is: a single Blue. Victory, or death.

**Washington**: I see.

**Baraggan**: That's why I refused my relocation orders. Obviously Command wasn't thinkin' clearly.

**Washington**: So, you're AWOL then.

**Baraggan**: I uh... A-what?

_Cut to an over the shoulder shot of Sister._

**Sister**: Don't tell him anything until you talk to a lawyer! You have rights!

**Washington**: I'm not a cop!

**Baraggan**: Hey! Beat it ya little tramp! Ya see why I can't go?

**Washington**: Why not just attack her and win then? It would take about ten seconds.

**Sister**: You're old and I hate you!

**Baraggan**: That's the problem! I can't attack a girl. So we're locked, in an epic stalemate.

**Washington**: You're kidding me.

**Baraggan**: Plus she's cookin' somethin' up. And I gotta be ready. I hear her runnin' training ops every night! I see them out there with their glow sticks and their tribal drum beats: oom chicka oom chicka oom chicka oom chicka.

**Washington**: Well. This has been really... informative. But I need to find someone who has experience with artificial intelligence.

**Baraggan**: Alright. You want Di-Roy then. He got infected for a little while I think.

**Washington**: Great. Di-Roy! Do you know where he is?

**Baraggan**: Of course. We intercepted the Blues' orders. I got it right here. Dordoni!

**Dordoni**: Sí.

**Baraggan**: Get this guy the Blue Team relocation orders.

**Dordoni**: Sí.

**Baraggan**: Dordoni probably converted it in to Spanish, so they might be a little hard to understand.

**Washington**: Yeah. They wouldn't be the first thing today.

**Sister**: Shut up cop!


	5. Chapter 3

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 3! _

**Chairman**: Dear Director, due to your busy schedule, we have begun interviewing members of your staff. I'm certain you will let us know if this bothers you. However our debriefings keep coming back to a single subject at Outpost 17-B. Can you explain to us what this Meta is, and what your plans are to deal with it?

_Guenael runs down a ramp to Washington._

**Guenael**: Oh no! Hell no! Excuse me, sir, but no goddamn way!

**Washington**: You must be Lieutenant Guenael Lee.

**Guenael**: I got Reds comin' out of my ass here boss, and you wanna take away one of my men for a...what did you say this was for?

**Blue**: Secret mission, sir.

**Guenael**: Aw, you gotta be-a what!?

**Wash**: I think you have bigger issues than troop assignment, soldier. Like getting some of these vehicles back in working order. ''Wash indicates to the burning tank and wrecked jeep.''

**Guenael**: What do you think I'm talkin' about? This is YOUR fault! You sent us the new guy; he said he was good with vehicles. All he does is talk to 'em. Talk to 'em! What the hell is that all about? And now look at the damn things!

**Wash**: I don't need to discuss your problems. I have orders, and those orders say I need Private Di-Roy and I need him now. He has information that could be vital to this-

**Guenael**: Wait a second, Di-Roy? You're taking Di-Roy? And I don't have to pay you or anything like that?

**Wash**: Is that a problem?

**Guenael**: A problem? Hehe, hell no! It must be Christmas morning n' no one told me. You stay right there, I'll get 'im for you. Private Jo-a-nes? Jo-a-nes? Jo-a-nes, where the hell are ya'!?

**Jones**: (_sigh_) Sir, for the millionth time, my name is pronounced 'Jones'. Jones.

**Blue**: Shut up, Jo-a-nes!

**Jones**: Seriously, lots of people have the name, it's very common. How am I the first person you've met called Jones?

**Guenael**: Jo-a-nes, I need ya to go down to the brig, untie Di-Roy and get him up here.

**Jones**: Me...alone?

**Guenael**: Double time, Jo-a-nes.

**Jones**: Its pronounced...never mind, Christ.

**Washington**: You keep him in the brig?

**Guenael**: We keep him tied up in the brig. I'm not taking any more chances.

_Gunshot, Jones cries out in pain, Di-Roy runs on._

**Di-Roy**: Be careful.

**Guenael**: (_to Wash_) You'll understand soon enough.

**Di-Roy**: You wanted to see me, Principal Guenael?

**Guenael**: Where's the guy I sent to get ya?

**Di-Roy**: Oh, him, yeah...um, he let me out then somehow shot himself in the back somehow. But we don't think it was anybody's fault. Everybody agrees it was an accident.

**Guenael**: Jesus! Would someone go and check on him?

_Blue runs off to check on Jones._

**Guenael**: This here is Special Agent Washington, from Blue Command. He has something fantastic he needs to talk to you about.

**Di-Roy**: Command? Oh no, they never have good news. Did somebody die? Was it my mom, is she dead? Or my dad, did my dad die again? Oh no.

**Wash**: What is this? I don't...

**Guenael**: Hehe, you see, he's yours now. Hehe, no take-backs.

**Di-Roy**: Is it my brother? Was my brother killed? That's it, isn't it, my brothers dead!

**Wash**: What...no, nothing like that.

**Di-Roy**: Oh, good, because I don't even have a brother. H-how sad would it be to not have a brother and to lose a brother all in the same day.

**Wash**: No one died!

_Blue runs on._

**Blue**: Jo-a-nes is dead, sir.

**Wash**: Ok, no one besides him.

**Di-Roy**: Once again...nobody's fault. Pst...I think the new guy did it.

**Wash**: Private Di-Roy, you were stationed at Blood Gulch, correct?

**Di-Roy**: Yeah...that was fun.

**Wash**: And our records indicate that you were infected by an aggressive artificial intelligence program at one point. The Omega AI, is that correct as well?

**Di-Roy**: Yeah...that wasn't as much fun.

**Wash**: Ok, well I need you to come with me. I'm investigating a critical issue and you seem to be the only person with the knowledge and experience necessary to help me.

_Long, awkward silence._

**Wash**: And I just realised how ridiculous that sounded once I said it out loud. Nonetheless, I need you to come with me.

**Guenael**: Can I have a word with him first, sir?

**Wash**: Sure, I guess.

_Guenael and Di-Roy walk over to the barrier._

**Guenael**: Now Di-Roy, I know we didn't always get along.

**Di-Roy**: I got tied up.

**Guenael**: Right. But all these mistakes…I know it's not your fault. You seem like a good kid, you're just a little...confused.

**Di-Roy**: Yeah...he is.

**Guenael**: But I wanna give you a piece of advice. This guy looks like a tough customer, and you're bound to get into some situations that maybe you're not prepared for.

**Di-Roy**: Right, like a rodeo.

**Guenael**: Now if that happens, if you find yourself in danger, or if you're in a situation where you think something bad is going to happen, I want you to remember just one thing. Never, EVER come back here.

**Di-Roy**: Ok.

**Miller**: No, I need to know that you understand. I need to hear you say it.

**Di-Roy**: Don't ever go backwards.

**Guenael**: (_sigh_) I guess that's about as close as we're gonna get. (_To Wash_) He's all yours!

**Wash**: Great, let's get going.

**Di-Roy**: Ok.

_Di-Roy walks off with Wash._

**Di-Roy**: Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet!?

**Wash**: Just...try and be quiet, ok.

**Guenael**: (_To Blues_) Boys, this is a great day. Things are finally changing for us, I can feel it.

**Blue**: Should we burry Jo-a-nes now, sir?

**Guenael**: Fella's, let's just enjoy this moment a little longer, hehe. He's not going anywhere.

_Di-Roy and Wash walk off in distance, watched by a blue figure._

**Di-Roy**: (_In distance_) I'm hungry. I'm thirsty. I need to go to the bathroom again...

_The Blue figure changes color to white, then turns to face the screen, which blacks out._


	6. Chapter 4

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 4! _

**Director**: Dear Chairman.

_Fade in to a remote base of some sort, with Washington and Di-Roy approaching the structure._

**Director**: Rest assured we have the situation under control. While the Meta is proving to be an elusive enemy, our Recovery agent is already closing in on it. I expect this incident will reach a conclusion soon, and I will be able to return to my research. Hopefully, without further interruption.

**Washington**: And you're sure this is where we can find this guy?

**Di-Roy**: I think so. We all found out our new orders at the same time; he tried to hide his from me so I would not know where he was.

**Washington**: Really. I can't imagine why.

**Di-Roy**: I said it was like a game of hide and seek, and he said that that was right; he was going to hide from me. And the only way he could win, is if he dies without ever seeing me again.

**Washington**: And he knows about Freelancer as well.

**Di-Roy**: Oh, yeah, he knows the most. He knows uh, all about your A.I. game. He dated Tex!

**Washington**: Agent Texas? Um, how could a person-

_A sniper shot rings out between them._

**Voice: **Fuck!

**Washington**: Sniper! Get down!

**Di-Roy**: Huh?

**Voice**: Okay, that was your one warning shot! The next one's goin' right between your eyes!

**Washington**: Private Di-Roy! Get down!

**Di-Roy**: Wait a minute-

**Voice**: Alright! I warned ya! Sayonara, biatch!

_Another sniper shot misses Di-Roy._

**Voice**: Aw come on, what the fuck!?

**Washington**: Di-Roy!

**Di-Roy**: I know that voice! Skullak! Skullak! It's me! Your all time best friend!

**Skulllak**: Di-roy? Di-Roy is that you?

**Di-Roy**: Yes! Skullak, it's me!

_Skullak starts firing at Di-Roy a lot, and missing, a lot._

**Di-Roy**: I have missed you so much! It has been so long! Did you miss me!?

**Skulllak**: Fuck! I missed him!

**Di-Roy**: I knew you did!

**Skulllak**: Go away!

**Washington**: This is your friend?

**Di-Roy**: Yeah.

_The shooting resumes._

**Washington**: And he's shooting at you.

**Di-Roy**: Well, at me and stuff around me. Yeah, it is kind of like our thing. So he acts like he doesn't like me, but he really does. Oh and he might bring up something about me killing him, but that's only the truth. Uh it's a joke. *inhale* You could play along if you want!

**Washington**: Wait, that doesn't make any sense. You did what? You- you killed him?

**Skulllak**: Hey, scram, seriously! Get the fuck outta here.

**Di-Roy**: Hey Skullak! This is Agent Washington! He needs to speak to you.

**Skulllak**: Agent Wa- You brought a Freelancer here? What's wrong with you?

**Washington**: Open this gate.

**Skulllak**: Uh, no can do bud. See this is a secure facility: nobody in, nobody out. Sorry, I guess you'll have to come back, never.

**Washington**: Oh no, then I guess we'll have to just walk through the huge hole in your secure wall.

_Camera aims at the huge hole in the wall._

**Skulllak**: Fine, I'll open the fucking gate.

_Cut to the inside of the base._

**Skulllak**: Okay well, sorry the place is so messy. I would have cleaned up if I'd known you guys were coming. But hey, no one called ahead.

**Washington**: How long have you been here?

**Skulllak**: How long? Um... What day is today?

**Washington**: Today is Tuesday.

**Skulllak**: I've been here fourteen months.

**Washington**: What? Over a year, by yourself? Alone?

**Skulllak**: Yeah, it's been um... it's been great, I mean just, just it's been great. Really great.

_The radio sounds._

**Command**: This is Command calling Recovery One, come in Recovery One.

**Washington**: You are really an odd group of people. Hold on. This is Agent Washington. I found some blue team members that have extensive experience with Omega.

**Skulllak**: Did he just say Omega?

**Di-Roy**: Yeah. And some other words too.

**Command**: Excellent Agent Washington, please stand by for orders.

_The camera pans behind someone invisible who then darts off before Di-roy looks where he was._

**Command**: Now that you have reassembled the blues, you should head to Outpost 17-B. See what clues your team can gather there based on what they know.

**Washington**: Roger that.

**Command**: They want you to stop the Meta at all costs. This is a Level One directive. Good luck Wash. Recovery Command out.

**Washington**: Recovery One out. Come on, let's move out.

**Skulllak**: Move out? Hey at what point in this conversation did you think that we were buddies or somethin'? I'm not goin' with you.

**Di-Roy**: Yes! You are not in our buddy club!

**Skulllak**: Shut up Di-Roy, and what did I tell you about that armor, when we had to pick new suits?

**Di-Roy**: You told me to upgrade.

**Skulllak**: That's not an upgrade! This is Mark Six armor, that's Mark Five. This is an upgrade.

**Di-Roy**: In a Top Ten list, five is better than six.

**Skulllak**: We're not a top ten list!

**Washington**: How do you ever get anything done if all you ever do is argue with each other?

**Skulllak**: We don't, that's part of our charm. Quit fuckin' it up!

**Washington**: Look, I know you guys are all wrapped up in your little "red vs blue" battles-

**Di-Roy**: Blue vs red battles. No one says red vs blue, it sounds stupid when you say it backwards.

**Washington**: But this is important. Actual military operations. Not your fake simulation stuff. Something is hunting our top agents, and I need all the help I can get to stop it.

**Skulllak**: Stop it? If it's killing Freelancers I want to start a fan club for it, build it a website.

**Washington**: And now that the ship from your canyon is crashed, we think it's more poweful than ever. It gains new abilities every time it kills-

**Skulllak**: Wait wait wait, whoa- you found Tex's ship?

**Washington**: We believe so.

**Skulllak**: Where?

**Washington**: Come with me, and I'll show you.

**Skulllak**: Okay, I'm in.

**Di-Roy**: Yes, this will be the greatest road trip ever!

**Skulllak**: If you say anything positive, I will fucking kill all three of us right now.

**Di-Roy**: Okay. I will be very depressed about how awesome this will be.

_The Meta decloaks on the base and starts meddling with a recording he made of Washington's conversation with Command to create new audio, then sounds the radio with it_

**Command**: This is Command calling Red Base, come in Red Base.

**Baraggan**: This is Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.

**Command**: Agent Washington has reassembled the Blues.

**Baraggan**: I knew it! I knew he was a Blue!

**Command**: Gather your team, we want you to stop Agent Washington at all costs. This is a level one directive. Good luck Red Base.

**Baraggan**: Hey, one sec. Any word on that soldier poison I ordered?

**Command**: No. Good luck Red Base.

**Baraggan**: What about the robot nuts?

**Command**: No. Good luck Red Base. Command out.

**Baraggan**: Well you don't have to get so te- ...

_Meta closes the connection._

**Baraggan**: Hello? Hello, can you hear me? ...How 'bout now? This thing gets terrible reception. Only have one bar. ...Hello? Can you hear me now?

_Meta sees someone in purple armor off to the side. South steps out from behind a broken wall with Delta activated._

**Delta**: I still believe this course of action is dangerous. If we are following Agent Washington, logic would dictate that others could be as well.

_Meta hops down the wall and sneaks towards them._


	7. Chapter 5

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 5! _

**Chairman**: Dear Director.

_Fade in to a base somewhere, with barricades and people behind them._

**Chairman**: We can all understand that the shift from autonomy to oversight can be a difficult adjustment for anyone, but especially someone of your standing. In that spirit, we have attempted to accommodate your brief explanations to our serious inquiries. None the less, I feel compelled to inform you, that even our trust has its limits.

_Cut to Washington talking with a Private dressed all in black._

**Private**: Sorry Sir, those are my orders. No-one can approach the crash site. You can't come in. Sorry.

**Washington**: I need to see that ship. Check my clearance if you need to.

**Private**: I know sir, but, it won't matter. They said I can't let anybody in. Anybody.

**Washington**: I have orders from Command, Private.

**Private**: So do I. These came from the Director himself. ...Look sir, I'd- I'd like to help you, I really would, but this investigation thing... apparently they've started talking to people within the Recovery force. Now everything's getting locked down. You get Command to call me and tell me different, I can let you in. Until then, there's nothing I can do. You can use Red Base if you wanna make some calls. That facility's already been swept.

**Washington**: Fine, I understand.

_Washington walks back to Skullak and D-Roy._

**Washington**: *sigh* We have a problem.

**Di-Roy**: I hope it isn't a math problem.

**Washington**: They've got the crash site locked down.

**Skullak**: Oh great. We couldn't have found that out on the radio? We had to walk here?

**Washington**: They said we could use this base if we want.

**Skullak**: Wow, the empty concrete base? Is it our birthday?

**Di-Roy**: I want cake.

**Skullak**: Can't we find somewhere nicer to hang out? Hey maybe there's like a, cool nightclub nearby that you can't get us in to either. That would be awesome.

**Washington**: You two just, stay here. I'll go draw off the guards. When I give you the signal, use that grav-lift.

**Skullak**: The what? How do we use it?

**Washington**: Just step in to it. It'll do the rest. Meet me at the ship.

**Skullak**: Okay, what's the, signal?

_Skullak turns around, and Washington is already gone._

**Skullak**: God dammit, I hate when they do that.

**Di-Roy**: When they do wha- hey! Where's Agent Washington?

_They wait a while._

**Di-Roy**: What do you think he'll do for a distraction?

**Skullak**: Who knows, probably like, you know, make a noise, or throw a rock. That's what I would do.

_In the distance a vehicle is blown in to the sky and a siren starts sounding._

**Skullak**: ...Or he could do that.

**Di-Roy**: I think he is better at distractions than you are.

**Skullak**: Yeah.

**Washington**: (_over the radio_) Okay, come on out. But come quietly.

**Skullak**: Okay, let's go.

**Di-Roy**: Um, yes, I don't want to. Uh, you see I am scared of the thing that I don't know what it is.

**Skullak**: Oh don't be a baby. How bad could it be-

_Skullak steps in to the grav-lift and is hurtled, limbs flailing, through the air._

**Skullak**: -eeeeeeeeeeeee!

_Skullak lands, bounces, skids, hydroplanes, and eventually smacks up against the side of a jeep behind two soldiers, making "oof" sounds the whole way._

**Skullak**: That was fucking bullshit!

**Soldier 1**: Did you just say somethin'?

**Soldier 2**: ...Whuh?

**Washington**: I said quietly, what part of quiet don't you understand?

**Skullak**: What part? How 'bout the part where I got thrown eighty feet in the fucking air, by the God damn throwing thing!?

_Time passes, and a tank rolls by._

**Washington**: They didn't see us, okay. Stay out of sight. Do you recognize this ship?

**Church**: Yeah, this looks like it.

**Di-Roy**: Loly? Loly. Are you okay?

**Washington**: Um... what is he doing?

**Skullak**: Oh, yeah we uh, we transferred our tank's training program in to the ship, so that it could help us repair it.

**Washington**: Did you inform Command that you moved the program to the ship?

**Skullak**: Yeah, we're not really big on paperwork.

**Washington**: That's actually a good thing in this case. If they don't know it's there, they may not have tried to activate it.

_Washington opens a panel in the ship and something slumps out that turns out to be a diagnostics screen._

**Washington**: Ah ha, here we go.

**Loly**: (_lethargically_) Hello, and thank you for activating the- wait, where am I?

**Di-Roy**: Loly?

**Washington**: Program, instruction. Run a full diagnostic, and load the logs from your last flight.

**Loly**: Affirmative. Excep-exception: the system has taken dam-taken damage. I am functing- I am functioning at minimum capacity-ity-ity-.

**Washington**: Program, instruction. Override exception and-

**Di-Roy**: Do not talk to her like that, she is not a program!

**Washington**: Whoa. What? Calm down.

**Skullak**: Hey I'm just gonna, stand behind Di-Roy, for a couple minutes. You know for safety reasons.

**Loly**: Port engine destroyed.

**Washington**: Okay. I only want to replay the logs from the crash. So can you please get it-

_Skullak backs away further._

**Washington**: I mean her, to do that.

**Loly**: Stabilizer offline.

**Di-Roy**: Loly, um, would you go ahead and do that ah thing that he just said, to me?

**Loly**: Begin-beginning playb-playback.

_The screen starts playing the log, with a warning siren and sounds of things hitting each other in the background._

**Loly**: Warning, warning, system failure.

**Tex**: Loly! damage report, now!

**Loly**: Port abort, destroyed. Rear stabilizer offline. Navigation, offline. And my system clock does not match interior records.

**Tex**: Did Gamma get loose!

**Loly**: Negative, but I do not know how much longer I can contain him.

**Tex**: Computer, what about there? In the canyon, can we land?

**Loly**: Analyzing data.

**Tex**: Just tell me, can you get us there?

**Loly**: I am unable to calculate-

**Tex**: Loly, give me manual control, now!

**Loly**: Acknowledged. Manual control, activated. Warning: decompression. Rear doors, open.

**Tex**: Where're they going? Close the hatch!

**Loly**: Rear doors open.

**Tex**: Wait!

**Loly**: Acknowledged. Warning.

**Tex**: What happened to-

**Loly**: Altitude critical. Brace for impact. Brace for impact.

**Tex**: Hold on!

**Loly**: Brace for impact.

**Tex**: Everybody just hold on-

_The recording ends with a sustained beep._

**Washington**: Okay, so after that the ship crashed here. And from what a survivor told us the Blues got here first and offloaded the bodies and equipment. Then they started to get infected.

**Di-Roy**: Infected? What were they doing with the bodies?

**Skullak**: Gross, shut up.

**Di-Roy**: No really, what were they doing with the bodies.

**Washington**: They said their men started acting erratically. And for some reason they destroyed all their radios and their own comm tower.

**Skullak**: Okay, okay. That was definitely Omega.

**Washington**: You had a similar experience?

**Skullak**: Yeah, similar? Exactly the same.

**Washington**: It all adds up then. Omega was the one who inherited that trait. During training they discovered he could move from suit to suit. For some reason he preferred Agent Texas. They tried to reassign him but he always made his way back to her somehow.

**Skullak**: So where's your A.I.?

**Washington**: I don't have one. Any more. It's a long story but it's why I was chosen for this job.

**Skullak**: Okay, okay I knew I had heard your name before. You're that guy that went nuts, right?

**Washington**: I didn't do anything. My A.I... lost control of itself.

**Skullak**: Riight. It just happened to do it while it was inside your head.

**Washington**: Right.

**Di-Roy**: We have a lot in common Agent Washington.

**Washington**: No we don't. And don't ever say that again.

**Skullak**: Where's Tex's body?

**Washington**: According to the prisoner, it should be in Blue Base.

**Skullak**: Take me to it, I want to see it.

**Washington**: What? I don't think so. That's their main-

_Beeping sounds overlap Wash's last few words, then Command starts talking to him over the radio._

**Command**: Recovery Command calling Recovery One, level zero.

**Washington**: I have you, Command, level zero. Go ahead.

**Command**: We have a beacon Wash. Pulling the data now. Stand by for ID and coordinates.

**Washington**: I received it here too. Standing by.

**Skullak**: What was that?

**Washington**: That was my recovery beacon. It means an A.I. somewhere is in jeopardy and I have to find it before- ...something, else, does.

**Command**: Coordinates locked, transmitting now.

**Washington**: Receiving coordinates for recovery target. Do we have an ID?

**Command**: Affirmative, it is from the A.I. Delta and-

**Washington**: Agent South.

**Command**: Roger that, Agent South Dakota. Vital reports look bad, yeah she's in trouble Wash.

**Washington**: Yes. Yes she is.


	8. Chapter 6

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 6! _

**Director**: (_voice over_) Dear Chairman.

_Fade in to some rocky terrain, with Meta shooting at South inside a Domed Energy Shield._

**Director**: (_voice over_) The Meta is nothing more than an entity seeking to increase its power, in these confusing days after the war. From my perspective, that seems to be a very common occurrence at the moment.

**South Dakota**: Delta, report.

**Delta**: Your suit's energy reserves are nearly depleted. The shield will not-

**South**: How much longer?

**Delta**: The Meta will breach our barrier within sixty seconds. I suggest that you prepare your grenades while I divert power from your armor's non-essential systems.

**South**: No.

**Delta**: You have a better plan?

**South**: Keep the shield up as long as you can. When it starts to falter, transfer yourself to the storage unit.

**Delta**: I think I would be more useful in my current state.

**South**: I'll dump my shield generator at the same time. There's no way that thing can resist the both of you.

**Delta**: You are... abandoning me?

**South**: It's my best chance to get out of this.

**Delta**: South, protocol violations aside, this seems to be a very short term solution. The Meta will only grow more powerful by integrating me in to-

**South**: Program override, acknowledge last directive.

**Delta**: Acknowledged. Preparing storage unit.

**South**: Get ready.

**Delta**: Shield failure in five, four-

**South**: Get ready to eject.

**Delta**: Three-

**South**: Transfer to storage.

**Delta**: Two-

**South**: On my mark-

**Delta**: One.

**South**: Now!

_A grenade goes off at the perimiter of the shield, and Skullak, Di-Roy and Washington come over the hill in two jeeps._

**Washington**: There they are!

**Delta**: New targets encountered.

**Washington**: Don't let it get near her!

_The vehicles all crash and are abandoned and people start firing at each other, with Washington behind a rock and Skullak and Di-Roy behind a wall._

**Washington**: And don't let her get away!

**Skullak**: Her? Isn't she a Freelancer like you?

**Washington**: Yeah, just don't let her leave!

**Skullak**: Okay! Di-Roy!

**Di-Roy**: Hello.

**Skullak**: Hey, see that purple one? She's on our team. You should help her.

**Di-Roy**: Okay!

_Di-Roy stands up and shoots South._

**South**: Ah, son of a-!

**Delta**: Alarm, friendly fire!

**Di-Roy**: Um, she got in the way when I was trying to help her.

**Skullak**: Okay we're good!

_Meta walks forward and goes invisible. Wash joins Di-Roy and Skullak behind the wall._

**Washington**: Damn. It's gone invisible. Keep an eye on your motion trackers, and watch your perimeters, look for a shimmer.

**Skullak**: It turned invisible? What is this thing?

**Washington**: It takes the equipment of other Freelancers, it must have picked up cloaking from Tex.

**Skullak**: Wait a second, any equipment?

**Washington**: Yes! ...Why?

**Skullak**: Shit, Wyoming. Cover me!

_Skullak jumps over the wall and runs forward._

**Washington**: What? Wyoming? Di-Roy, cover him. Grab those spike grenades.

**Skullak**: No! Don't let Di-Roy help me!

_The Meta decloaks and fires very large shells at Skullak._

**Washington**: There it is!

**Skullak**: Hey! How 'bout a little help out here?

**Washington**: On it. Di-Roy! Toss that grenade!

_Washington tosses a frag grenade over the wall. Di-Roy throws his spike grenade right into the wall, where it sticks for a few seconds for dramatic effect._

**Washington**: That was the worst throw ever. Of all time.

**Di-Roy**: Not my fault, someone put a wall in my way.

_Washington and Di-Roy both jump the wall as the grenade goes off, propelling them higher. At the same time Skullak fires a rocket at the Meta's head before the Meta freezes time. The Meta backs away from the rocket, walks over underneath Wash and pulls his pistol and aims at him, then suffers some kind of electrical charge and time resumes as he flees._

**Washington**: What? Where did it go, what happened?

**Di-Roy**: You don't remember? You threw a grenade that landed in between us. But don't worry, I saved you.

**Skullak**: It used Agent Wyoming's stupid time thing from the ship! What's wrong with you, why didn't you tell us it could use equipment?

**Washington**: Why didn't you tell me that Wyoming was on the ship?

**Di-Roy**: And why didn't someone give me something to yell about?!

**South**: Mmm, ah... (_continues to groan_)

**Washington**: Delta, are you here?

_Delta emerges._

**Delta**: Affirmative, I am undamaged. However Agent South is seriously wounded. May I suggest moving me to a new host?

**Washington**: Roger that. I don't trust her anyway. One of you two take him.

**Skullak**: Um... I don't think that I can-

**Di-Roy**: I'll do it! I like meeting new people.

_Di-Roy walks over and kneels next to her, allowing the A.I. to jump into him._

**Washington**: Delta, what happened?

**Delta**: I agree with the simulation trooper. The Meta has most likely acquired both a temporal distortion unit, and an A.I. capable of running it. In this case, Gamma.

**Washington**: Well, why didn't it kill us then?

**Delta**: I am sorry, but I do not have enough data to formulate an answer. I think we should simply be happy it is gone.

**Skullak**: That makes sense to me.

**Di-Roy**: I also agree with the glowing person. Everyone else sees the glowing person, right?

**Delta**: It is possible the Meta has been injured in some way, and is retreating to repair itself.

**Washington**: So, if we can find it before it does, we may actually stand a chance of beating it.

**Skullak**: Either way, I don't think we should be hanging around here.

**Washington**: Then let's get moving.

**South**: I can-, I can't walk on my own.

**Washington**: Well I guess you'd better start crawling. If you think I'm leaving you here to escape you've got another thing coming.

**Delta**: Agent Washington, if I may. Before you arrived, South attempted to turn me over to the Meta, to save herself.

**Washington**: Really?

**Delta**: Much like she wounded _you_ to escape in our previous encounter with it. And as I have learned, in our travels, her brother North suffered a similar fate.

**Washington**: What a team player.

**Delta**: It is highly probable that she will turn on us again soon, and in her current physical state, she will only hamper our progress.

**Washington**: What are you suggesting?

**Delta**: ...That we do not allow her to hamper our progress.

**Washington**: Okay.

_Washington loads his pistol and aims it at South._

**South**: Oh come on, Wash. What're you gonna do, shoot-

_Wash shoots South right in the face._

**Washington**: Yes. Good suggestion.

**Delta**: You're welcome.

**Skullak**: Dude, you guys are some cold motherfuckers.

**Di-Roy**: I just want everyone to know that I have no problems walking. And I take full responsibility for the grenade incident.

**Happy Holidays All. Hope you all are have a great Holiday and as my gift to my review will be all of RVB chapter. Oh you all like them and please review.**


	9. Chapter 7

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 7! _

**Chairman**: Dear Director.

_Fade in to the inside of a sewer pipe that leads out to South's corpse_

**Chairman**: Your program was granted the use of a single artificial intelligence unit, for implantation experiments. Yet, the department records clearly show, multiple agents in the field with implants, during the same timeframes. Surely this must be a logging error, and we anticipate a corrected document soon.

**Skullak**: Okay. I have a great idea. Let's all put down our guns, and not shoot anyone else that we're trying to help.

**Washington**: Relax.

**Skullak**: Exactly. Let's all relax.

**Washington**: Agent South had already shot me in the back once before, and she tried to give up Delta to the enemy. I wasn't going to wait around to see if she decided to do it again.

**Skullak**: Right, okay sure...

**Washington**: Stop talking to me like that.

**Skullak**: We're not talking to you like anything.

**Di-Roy**: No one is talking to you like this...

**Washington**: You don't need to treat me like that. I'm not crazy, okay? I'm totally completely sane. Now if you'll excuse me I need to go blow up this dead body.

**Skullak**: Hey hey uh, uh, green guy.

**Di-Roy**: I'm blue.

**Skullak**: Delta.

**Di-Roy**: Oh him.

**Delta**: Hello. How may I be of assistance?

**Skullak**: Hey yeah, uh, what's the deal with this guy?

_In the background, Wash shoots the body several times with an assault rifle._

**Delta**: Destruction of unused armor or equipment is standard recovery procedure.

**Skullak**: Yeah, no, I mean is he like a whack-job or what?

_Wash tosses a plasma grenade at the body, and it blows up._

**Delta**: Are you aware of his experience with Epsilon?

**Skullak**: Epsilon, oh you mean his A.I.?

_South's body is well and fully on fire, completely engulfed in flames._

**Delta**: Correct. Epsilon was an... unstable intelligence unit that had to be deleted. Its integration with Washington's mind concerned our superiors.

_Wash tries rolling things on to the corpse._

**Skullak**: What do you think?

**Delta**: I believe that Agent Washington's sanity is well within acceptable deviations, for now.

**Skullak**: Wow, what a ringing endorsement.

_A larger explosion involving several crates, then another._

**Skullak**: I'm filled with confidence.

**Washington**: Okay, all done. Delta, I called Command. They wanted me to pass along condolences at South's passing.

**Delta**: Thank you. I will be sure to archive that sentiment.

**Skullak**: What did you tell them?

**Washington**: I told them Di-Roy did it. Apparently they already have a shortcut on their keyboard for reporting his team kills.

**Di-Roy**: Control F U.

**Washington**: I would have told them you shot her, but, I wanted it to be believable.

**Skullak**: Hey. My aim is fine.

**Washington**: And yet, the Meta managed to dodge your rocket somehow.

**Skullak**: No no, not dodge. It was there one second, and it was gone the next. That's how I knew it was using Wyoming's power.

**Washington**: And he was on the ship with Tex?

**Di-Roy**: His head was.

**Washington**: His head?

**Skullak**: His helmet. Not everybody is as twisted as you are, Wash. Tex, took it for some reason.

**Washington**: So if the Meta has Wyoming's powers, it's even more powerful than we thought.

**Di-Roy**: And as scary as someone thought it was to begin with. Back to square one. Scary square.

**Washington**: Oh great, looks like it took one of our cycles. So, what do we do?

**Skullak**: What're ya, askin' us? I thought you were like the big know-it-all super agent guy?

**Di-Roy**: I would go home.

**Skullak**: Yeah dude, retire. You got any savings, like a, 401K or something?

**Washington**: Delta, can you shed any light on this?

**Delta**: Not without further data.

**Skullak**: So why does it want these A.I. things anyway?

**Washington**: A.I. help us in battle, depending on their functions. We couldn't run half our equipment without them. And if you get your hands on a smart A.I., you can be damn near unstoppable.

**Skullak**: What, like smart like Delta here?

**Washington**: Not exactly. He's just the logical one of the family. Smart means something entirely different for A.I.s than it does for people.

**Di-Roy**: Now let's not go throwing around words like smart for no reason.

**Delta**: Wash is correct. We are more analogous to what you would call a "fragment."

**Skullak**: Actually, I don't care, so I wouldn't call you guys anything.

**Delta**: There is one smart A.I. in the Freelancer program.

**Washington**: Delta-

**Delta**: The Alpha is a fully formed-

**Washington**: Delta! That's enough.

**Skullak**: What's Alpha?

**Washington**: The Alpha A.I. It's nothing, it's a myth. A fairy tale.

**Delta**: It is hardly a myth. Agent Washington, you must have memory of the Alpha-

**Washington**: Delta! Command. Offline.

**Delta**: Complying.

_Delta turns off._

**Skullak**: Oh. Sounds like somebody has a secret.

**Washington**: I just get tired of hearing these things talk about their Alpha. And you will too. They get obsessed with the idea of it. It seems like it's all they care about sometimes.

**Skullak**: But what is it?

**Di-Roy**: Yes, if it's something really scary, you don't have to tell us.

**Washington**: The whole purpose of the program was the study soldiers with experimental A.I., but rumor has it, they could only ever get one. So they had to copy it. The original was Alpha, then Beta, and so on.

**Skullak**: They copied them? Yeah, I k- I like that. I guess if one is annoying, then twenty of them are gonna be awesome.

**Washington**: The copies became obsessed with this idea of the Alpha, the original. In debriefings they would always steer conversations toward the topic of the Alpha. Where it was, if they could see it. Some even took- drastic steps.

**Skullak**: Like, shooting their partner in the head drastic? Or-

**Washington**: I told you, she shot me in the back first!

**Di-Roy**: And we believe you. Even though we don't think shooting a friend in the back occasionally, is that big of a deal.

**Washington**: Some Freelancers tried to get to Alpha on their own. They broke in to the secret storage facility where it was kept. They almost got to it. After that they shut down the-

_Beacon sounds._

**Washington**: My recovery beacon!

**Skullak**: Oh, great! We thought the Meta was hurt, but apparently he's just busy killing more of your buddies.

**Washington**: Pipe down.

**Command**: Recovery One, come in, level zero come in.

**Washington**: Go ahead Command.

**Command**: Wash, we have a beacon.

**Washington**: I'm getting it too. Do you have coordinates and an ID?

**Command**: Are you sure about this I mean this is how we can be-

**Washington**: Command, you're breaking up on me, please repeat, how what can be-

**Command**: Hold on, I'm not talking to you Wash. And, and you're sure. Okay. It's Agent Maine, Wash.

**Washington**: What?

**Command**: Please confirm last transmission Agent Washington.

**Washington**: Maine, how can that be? If-

**Command**: Please confirm, Recovery One.

**Washington**: Yeah, it's him. It's the Meta.

**Skullak**: What!?

**Washington**: Command, give me those coordinates now.

**Skullak**: The Meta is a Freelancer?

**Washington**: Command. Command, come in! Delta, what's happening?

**Delta**: Our transmission is being jammed.

**Washington**: Tell me you got the coordinates before we lost it.

**Skullak**: A freelancer-

**Delta**: I am sorry, I did not.

**Skullak**: You have got to be kidding me.

**Delta**: I did receive biocom data with the identification though. It appears as though the Meta is experiencing mass power fluctuations.

**Washington**: Power?

**Skullak**: Maybe all that A.I. and equipment can't run on one suit of armor?

**Delta**: That is an excellent analysis. The Meta is most likely dangerously low on power, and will attempt to augment its energy in some way.

**Washington**: Then we need to get to it fast. But where?

**Skullak**: ...

**Di-Roy**: ...

**Skullak**: We uh, we might know where it's going.

_Cut to the giant windmill on Zanzibar, and the Meta running across the screen cloaked__ where two Red soldiers can be seen walking along the wall structure._

**Menis**: I just wanna know why we have wall duty for the third day straight and Tubbs pulls motor pool everytime.

**Aldegor**: Not everytime...

**Menis**: Everytime! Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, _today_!

**Aldegor**: Today _is_ Wednesday, Menis.

**Menis**: Exactly! And where's Tubbs? Motor pool!

_Menis and Aldegor watch Tubbs from an opening. Cut to Tubbs from afar, who is seen sitting inside a Warthog. Cut back to Menis and Aldegor; the camera slowly zooms in on Menis as he speaks._

**Menis**: Look at him down there. What's he doing? Nothing.

**Aldegor**: So what, what're we doing?

**Menis**: We're on guard duty.

**Aldegor**: He's on guard duty too.

**Menis**: Yeah, but he gets to sit still while doing it. We have to walk.

**Aldegor**: (_scoffs_) You complain too much.

**Menis**: I don't complain too much Burke. You don't complain enough. I have to complain more just to keep up the average. You know what I mean?

_Aldegor doesn't respond._

**Menis**: Aldegor? Aldegor?!

_Menis looks over to his right, where he finds the Meta standing in Aldegor's spot, colored in red armor._

**Menis**: Hey, Aldegor... where'd you get that helmet?

_The Meta quickly kills Menis. Cut to black._


	10. Chapter 8

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 8! _

**Director**: Dear Chairman.

_Fade in to a mechanical factory of some sort._

**Director**: I understand your concern that increased activity would bring increased risk. However, our failsafes are simple but foolproof. A dead or dying agent's beacon automatically notifies our recovery team, and we will be on the scene immediately, to secure all the Military's property.

**Washington**: Look, there's our cycle. The Meta must be here.

**Skullak**: Yeah because, no one else in the Military would have a standard issue motorcycle, just like that.

**Di-Roy**: Also, the piles of dead bodies might have been a clue.

**Washington**: Just keep your heads down, and your eyes open. I'm going to advance along that wall. You two take Delta and move up along the other side.

**Skullak**: Okay.

**Washington**: Don't use the radio unless it's absolutely necessary.

**Skullak**: Okay.

**Washington**: And don't make a move until I do.

**Skullak**: Okay.

**Washington**: And no screw ups this time.

**Skullak**: Okay, are we gonna sit here on the beach all day, or are we gonna go get this thing?

**Washington**: We only have one chance at this before it gets back to full power. I can't take any chances that you guys are gonna botch this.

**Delta**: Agent Washington, perhaps it would be best if I assisted you in battle rather than helping Di-Roy.

**Washington**: No.

**Delta**: Statistically speaking, a Freelancer would be much better trained to use my-

**Washington**: I said no. Now get going.

_Di-Roy and Skullak enter the building together, seperate from Washington._

**Skullak**: Pst, hey, Delta!

**Delta**: Yes. How may I be of assistance?

_While Skullak and Delta talk, Skullak and Di-Roy move inside the building, up and down stairs, past bodies, etc._

**Skullak**: Hey, can I ask you a couple questions about this Freelancer program?

**Delta**: Certainly, I will answer what I am capable of answering.

**Skullak**: This Alpha thing, wh- why doesn't Washington want you to tell us about it?

**Delta**: I believe Agent Washington is uncomfortable discussing our program in any fashion. He was one of the many failures during the implantation process.

**Skullak**: One of the failures- how many were there?

**Delta**: Several. The Director felt time was limited, and escalated the pace of experiments. I would classify Agent South as another such "failure."

**Skullak**: Ay yeah, but she didn't even get an A.I.

**Delta**: Correct. Agent South Dakota and her brother North were merely another kind of experiment. What would happen if one agent received an A.I. unit, and the other did not.

**Skullak**: I guess we found out how well that worked.

**Delta**: Precisely.

**Skullak**: I still can't believe she killed her own brother.

**Delta**: She put him in a position to be killed. South rarely worked in a direct fashion.

**Skullak**: What a bitch.

**Delta**: Other experiments like the Dakotas were common towards the end. For instance, Agent Carolina was implanted with two A.I.s at one time.

**Skullak**: Two of them? That would drive me nuts.

**Delta**: Indeed. She only functioned for a short time, and not very well while she did. Having three minds at one time proved far too... taxing.

**Skullak**: Well yeah, but if Agent Maine has more than one A.I., wouldn't he be having problems too? Like that Carolina chick?

**Delta**: Undoubtedly. Agent Maine's power symptoms are only a small indication of what must be happening inside his helmet.

**Skullak**: Oh great, powerful and crazy. What a winning combo.

_They reach the mechanical room in the initial fade in, and the Meta is there on a lower level._

**Delta**: Warning. Enemy target detected.

**Di-Roy**: I see it yep, there it is.

**Skullak**: Yes, thank you for stating the obvious. Look, there's Wash.

_Wash is set up on the other side of the room on the same level as Skullak and Di-Roy._

**Skullak**: I hope he gives us some kind of-

**Washington**: NOW!

_Wash throws a plasma grenade down and it explodes._

**Skullak**: Signal.

**Washington**: (_firing_) Move up!

_A totally awesome battle between Wash and the Meta ensues in which the corpses get hit more than they do, Wash gets the first blow, but the Meta gets the last before leaving the room._

**Washington**: Don't just stand there, after it!

_Skullak throws a grenade and hits nothing._

**Delta**: If I may, I recommend that Di-Roy and I flank to the right and attempt to surpri-

**Skullak**: Just do it!

_Di-Roy runs off to the side and Skullak and Wash come up to a balcony, watching the Meta run from the building._

**Washington**: There, use your rifle.

**Skullak**: My rifle?

**Washington**: Shoot it!

_Skullak fires and hits the windmill blade._

**Skullak**: Dammit!

_The bullet ricochets 8 times (with Skullak and Wash both following the ricochets with their heads) before finally going through the Meta's calf_

**Skullak**: I got it, yes! Did you see that what a shot! I'm awesome!

**Washington**: It only counts if you call it!

**Skullak**: Oh bullshit dude!

_They arrive at a blood pool._

**Washington**: Look, there. Come on. Quietly.

_Tejano music gradually approaches from a distance, getting louder._

**Skullak**: Okay.

**Washington**: Hey, do you hear something?

**Skullak**: No? Wait, yeah.

**Washington**: What is that? Music?

**Skullak**: What? Oh no.

**Nirgge**: Yahaha, woohoo!

_The Reds come charging over the hill in a Warthog._

**Baraggan**: Ah!

**Skullak**: Crap, what're they doing here?

**Findor**: Yeah, suck it Blues!

**Baraggan**: It's Red Army! There's nothin's gonna stop us now!

_The immediately run in to a windmill blade and are stopped._

**Nirgge**: Aw shit wall! Aw fuck this!

**Baraggan**: Dammit! Nirgge you broke the radio.

**Nirgge**: Good!

**Washington**: Who are they?

**Skullak**: They're the Reds from our canyon.

**Nirgge**: Double-fuck, windmill blade!

**Skullak**: Look Wash, I don't know how they found us, or why they're here, but we don't have anything to worry about.

_The Warthog starts being raised up by the windmill blade._

**Skullak**: Seriously. Not a thing. These guys are idiots. They can't do anything right.

_The gun on the back of the Warthog cocks._

**Washington**: Uhm, we might wanna take cover.

_Findor starts firing it at them._

**Findor**: Yeah, take it Blue! Suck it! Yeah, that's right!

**Skullak**: Aw crap, run!

**Findor**: Let's go! Assholes!

**Washington**: Wait a minute, where's Di-Roy? Where's Delta?

_Cut to Di-Roy's lifeless body as the Meta comes upon it. Delta appears, surrounded by other captured A.I., who welcome Delta._


	11. Chapter 9

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 9! _

**Chairman**: Dear Director.

_Fade in to Blood Gulch._

**Chairman**: I feel you're avoiding the question. If this target, was already in possession of an A.I. unit, how was he able to secure an additional unit from Agent South? Would not that verify, as we indicated earlier, that your program now runs experiments with more than one artificial intelligence. If so, where did these additional A.I. come from. And more importantly, how did your agency procure them?

_Radio sounds._

**Command**: This is Command calling Red Base, come in Red Base.

**Baraggan**: This is Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.

**Command**: Agent Washington has reassembled the Blues.

**Baraggan**: I knew it! I knew he was a Blue!

**Command**: Gather your team, we want you to stop Agent Washington at all costs. This is a level one directive. Good luck Red Base.

**Baraggan**: Hey, one sec. Any word on that soldier poison I ordered?

**Command**: No. Good luck Red Base.

**Baraggan**: What about the robot nuts?

**Command**: No. Good luck Red Base. Command out.

**Baraggan**: Well you don't have to get so testy. Hello? Hello? Can you hear me? This thing gets terrible reception. Only have one bar! Hello?

_Baraggan runs down the ramp from Red Base to find Dordoni standing idly doing nothing._

**Baraggan**: Can you hear me now? Can you hear me? Stupid 4G network. Dordoni!

**Dordoni**: Sí.

**Baraggan**: That was Red Command.

**Dordoni**: Sí. Yo sé. (_Si. I know.)_

**Baraggan**: Were you listening to my call?

**Dordoni**: _I record all our calls for quality assurance._

**Baraggan**: They said those dirty Blues are up to no good!

**Dordoni**: Esa llamada sonaba extrana a mí. (_Actually that call sounded strange to me.)_

**Baraggan**: I agree! We have to stop 'em. No matter what the cost.

**Dordoni**: Alguien caricio otra llamada. (_Almost like someone took another call and chopped it up.)_

**Baraggan**: You're right! I shouldn't be here flappin' my gums, I need to shake a tail feather!

**Dordoni**: Sí, usted se va para su misión falsa... (_Yes, you should go on your fake mission right away...)_

**Baraggan**: I gotta reassemble the team! And I know I can't get Charlotte, so that leaves just findor... and Nirgge.

**Dordoni**: ...y quienquiera enviado la llamada le matará. (_...and you will most likely be killed by whomever sent that fake message.)_

**Baraggan**: Ah, good point! Maybe I'll get lucky and Nirgge was killed. Not in a glorious manner like battle of course, but doing something menial and humiliatin'! Maybe he drowned in a toilet while cleaning it.

**Dordoni**: Pendejo. (_You're an idiot.)_

**Baraggan**: I know, I know, I'm hopin' for too much. Lopez, pack m'gear. I gotta get goin'!

**Dordoni**: Se hace ya. Lo embalo diario deseó que usted se fuera. (_It's already done. I pack it every single morning in hopes that you will decide to leave.)_

**Baraggan**: Good ol' Dordoni, dependable as always. Now Dordoni-

**Dordoni**: Oh dios... por favor. No quiero tener un momento. (_Oh God... please. I don't want to have a moment.)_

**Baraggan**: I know we've had a lot of good times together-

**Dordoni**: No haga esto._ (Don't do this.)_

**Baraggan**: You've always relied on my guidance and protection.

**Dordoni**: El adolescente le derrotó. (_You couldn't even win the fight with that teenage girl.)_

**Baraggan**: But you're going to be on your own now.

**Dordoni**: Bueno. (_Good.)_

**Baraggan**: I prepared you for the world as best I could.

**Dordoni**: Usted me programó en Español. (_You programmed me in a language that no one here speaks.)_

**Baraggan**: So take care of yourself. And always remember that I'll be thinkin' of ya.

**Dordoni**: Voy a ir vedar que la el segundo es tu van. (_I am going to erase every memory of you the second you are gone.)_

**Dordoni**: Apenas como ... y ... (_Just like I did for_ [FILE DELETED] _and_ [FILE DELETED].)

**Baraggan**: Nope. No words, Dordoni. I'll see you again. In a better place. Adios amigo. Adios.

**Dordoni**: Vámonos viejo hombre estúpido. (_Just go, you stupid old man.)_

**Baraggan**: I'll miss you too Dordoni! Every single day. I promised myself I wouldn't cry.

**Dordoni**: Menos hablando. Yéndose. (_Less talking. More leaving.)_

**Baraggan**: Me too Dordoni! Me too!

**Dordoni**: El pedal está a la derecha. (_The gas pedal is on the right.)_

**Baraggan**: Heh heh. Now to find Nirgge and Findor. I can only imagine what amazing adventures they must be having right ... now.

_Immediately cut to Nirgge and Findor in front of a Red Team firing squad._

**Red Mutineer**: Any last words?

**Nirgge**: Yeah. You guys suck.

**Red Mutineer**: Ready! Aim!

**Findor**: Killed by our own men, couldn't see this coming.

_Cut to Baraggan up next to the dead Blues._

**Baraggan**: Hello? Anybody here? Anybody alive? No, good. Blue sucks! Heh heh. Hhm, I don't think Findor and Nirgge would have switched to Blue Team, but if they did it might explain why they all died.

_Back to Nirgge and Findor._

**Findor**: Wait, wait wait wait.

**Red Mutineer**: What?

**Findor**: Hey, uh, don't we get a last request? You know any- anything like that?

**Red Mutineer**: What do you want?

**Nirgge**: How 'bout for starters you suck my-

**Findor**: Shouldn't you at least read us our charges?

**Red Mutineer**: You know what you did. You were in charge of our ammunition. And you lost it all.

**Nirgge**: Don't you think it's ironic that you're about to shoot us because we don't have enough ammo? Also, lost and sold to the other team? Two totally different things.

**Red Mutineer**: Oh you're just delaying.

**Findor**: Yes that's true, but it's also true that you have to read us a list of charges. It's in the Red Army Handbook, section on firing squads, subsection 2.9c. page 94 third paragraph.

**Nirgge**: You are going to die a nerd. So sad.

**Findor**: Do you want to die in the next two seconds or do you want to die a nerd with me five minutes from now?

**Nirgge**: ...

**Findor**: Well?

**Nirgge**: I'm thinking. ...Fine, yeah, what he said, section whatever whatever.

**Red Mutineer**: I think you're bluffing. I never read that.

**Nirgge**: Uh, did you read the Red Army Handbook?

**Red Mutineer**: Ih... uh... no.

**Nirgge**: That's because nobody has, except for him. He's memorized it.

**Findor**: In three languages.

**Red Mutineer**: Uh, what do you guys think?

_The Red Mutineer discusses the matter with the firing squad._

**Nirgge**: Is that a real rule?

**Findor**: I have no clue, but they'll either read the book or read the charges.

**Soldier**: Okay.

**Findor**: Either way we're alive for a few more minutes.

**Red Mutineer**: Yeah, we decided that sounds like too much trouble. So we're just going to shoot you and say the Blues did it.

**Findor**: Oh, wait. I didn't think about the "fuck it, we're lazy" option.

**Nirgge**: Nyeh, I thought of it. I just didn't wanna explain it. Fuck it.

**Red Mutineer**: Ready weapons!

**Findor**: Nirgge, this looks like it's it. Listen, there's something I always wanted to tell you.

**Nirgge**: I have something I wanna say to you too, buddy.

**Findor**: You first.

**Red Mutineer**: Ready!

**Nirgge**: It was me that stole your identity and ran up all those credit card charges at the pawn shops and peep shows. Sorry.

**Red Mutineer**: Aim!

**Nirgge**: Whew! I feel so much better now that I got that off my chest! So what do you wanna say to me?

**Findor**: Hhhh, I seem to have forgotten. Hey asshole, can we hurry this up?

**Red Mutineer**: Fire!

_The firing squad fires, but Baraggan drives between them and Nirgee and Findor and the Warthog blocks all the bullets in the flank._

**Baraggan**: Findor! Nirgge! There ya are.

**Findor**: Are we dead?

**Nirgge**: Well if we are then Hell looks just like the army. Big surprise there.

**Baraggan**: I've been lookin' everywhere for ya.

**Findor**: Sarge?

**Nirgge**: Yeah what?

**Baraggan**: What in hell are you two doing?

**Findor**: We're being executed by our own men, Sir.

**Baraggan**: Cut it out. I need you guys to come with me. Command has a secret mission for us.

**Red Mutineer**: Who the hell is this guy?

**Baraggan**: Oh, what is this? Insubordination? Aye yah!

_Baraggan punches the Red Mutineer in the face with his shotgun._

**Baraggan**: Heyah! Come on you two, let's get a move on! Where's yer commanding officer?

**Findor**: (_pointing at Nirgge_) He's right there.

**Baraggan**: ... Where, behind Nirgge?

**Findor**: Sergeant Nirgge is our C.O., Sir.

**Baraggan**: Your Sergeant has the same name as Nirgge? That's a disturbing coincidence.

**Findor**: No no listen to me. Nirgge is our commander. He was promoted to Sergeant when you refused to relocate with us.

**Baraggan**: But who's in charge!?

**Findor**: Sergeant Nirgge!

**Baraggan**: Okay see, I can hear you saying words, but it's like they don't match up in a way that makes sense. Did ya have a stroke?

**Findor**: Nirgge is a Sergeant. He's the same rank as you now.

**Baraggan**: That's who I'm talkin' about. Where is he?

**Findor**: He's right there!

**Baraggan**: So, he's invisible.

**Nirgge**: Dude, I don't think he's physically capable of understanding what you're telling him.

**Red Mutineer**: Does this mean we get a new Sergeant now? Awesome, 'cause this one sucks.

_Baraggan punches the Red Mutineer in the back of the head this time and knocks him down again._

**Baraggan**: Gah. Never talk that way about a superior.

**Nirgge**: Did Sarge just call me superior? I heard it, Findor is a witness!

**Simmons**: I don't even wanna get involved.

**Findor**: What's going on in this outpost? Insubordination, invisible Sergeants, Findor has had a stroke!

**Nirgge**: It totally counts.

**Baraggan**: You two just get in the jeep. We're gettin' out of here. I'll explain on the way.

**Findor**: Shotgun!

**Nirgge**: I outrank you, get in the back.

**Findor**: Fuck!

**Baraggan**: Son, tell your Sergeant I'm taking these two with me. He can call Command for verification.

**Red Mutineer**: But, you're taking our Sergeant.

**Baraggan**: What? I can't hear you!

_The jeep drives away._

**Baraggan**: Engine's too loud.

**Red Mutineer**: What the hell just happened?

**Soldier**: Hey guys? The Blues are all dead.

**Red Mutineer**: Euh, I'm going to go lie down.

_Back at Blood Gulch, Drodoni is standing alone in the middle of the canyon_

**Dordoni**: Así. (_Great.)_

**Dordoni**: Ahora estoy solo. (_Now I'm lonely.)_

**Dordoni**: Sigh.


	12. Chapter 10

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 10! _

**Director**: Dear Chairman.

_Fade in to the firefight between the Reds and the Blues._

**Director**: Our records in this matter are impeccable, and I will refer you to them. It is true that we were granted the use of only one A.I. program, yet with special permission to conduct our experiments. That is all we were allowed to do, and that is all we have done. Of course, I am sure that you will agree, that the core mission of any scientific endeavour, is to find creative solutions to ...unexpected problems.

**Washington**: Where did these guys come from?

**Skullak**: I have no clue!

**Washington**: Do you think they're working with the Meta?

**Skullak**: Working with them? These guys don't do much working of any kind, so... no.

**Washington**: Look, there's Di-Roy.

**Skullak**: Is he dead?

**Washington**: Hold on. Let me pull up the biocomm. Check his pulse rate.

_Wash does just that while looking at Skullak._

**Skullak**: Uh... you can monitor our vitals?

**Washington**: I can check on the whole squad during combat. Keeps me up to date. It doesn't work on you for some reason.

**Skullak**: Yeah uh ah, sure there's a... perfectly, logical, explanation for that.

**Washington**: We need to get to him. My HUD says he's alive but hurt.

_Skullak ducks out and fires up at Di-Roy, then comes back in._

**Skullak**: How 'bout now?

**Washington**: Stop that! And you missed him.

**Skullak**: Fuck! Sun was in my eyes.

_Cut over to the Reds, firing from behind cover._

**Baraggan**: Findor, keep firing. Don't let up!

**Findor**: Yes Sir!

**Nirgge**: And get the grenades out there!

**Findor**: Yes Sirs!

**Baraggan**: Nirgge, stop confusing everybody. I'm callin' the shots.

**Nirgge**: We're the same rank now, I can do whatever I want.

**Baraggan**: You're not qualified to lead in battle!

**Nirgge**: Qualified? How hard could it be? Findor, you're doing a terrible job, and you should try to win harder. I mean try harder. To win.

**Baraggan**: That was awful.

**Nirgge**: _(crying)_ I learned it by watching you.

**Findor**: Excuse me Sir.

****Nirgge** and ****Baraggan**: What?!

**Findor**: (sigh) Never mind.

_Cut to the Meta watching the fight on a video screen, and changing colour to red._

**Baraggan**: (_on the screen_) Findor, aim for his bullets! Try to deflect them in mid air. Nirgge, come here! Your face can be used as a shield.

_The Meta walks down toward the battle, and the screen he was looking at starts flashing "Generator Malfunction". Cut back to Wash and Skullak._

**Washington**: We have to end this. Di-Roy is hurt, he could be losing blood.

**Skullak**: Ah, let him be. A little brain damage might actually be good for him.

**Washington**: Well what about Delta? The Meta could have grabbed him, or he could be trying to-

_All at once power goes out._

**Nirgge**: What was that?

**Skullak**: What was that?

**Washington**: Oh no.

_Power comes back on._

**Washington**: The Meta! He must be powering up. We can't waste any more time with this nonsense.

_Washington steps out and starts talking through a built-in megaphone of some sort._

**Washington**: Red Team. Attention, Red Team. Cease fire. Cease, fire.

**Skullak**: Hey how do you do that megaphone thing with your voice?

**Washington**: It's a voice amplifier. It's standard issue, all our suits have one.

**Skullak**: They do?

**Baraggan**: What do you want?

**Nirgge**: Yeah, what do you want?

**Baraggan**: Shut up, Nirgge!

**Nirgge**: That's "shut up Nirgge Sir."

**Washington**: We are not your enemy. My name is Agent Washington. I am part of a special task force-

**Skullak**: Testing, te- holy shit, it does work! This is badass.

**Washington**: Stop that!

**Skullak**: Ah! Don't use that thing right next to me. You're killing my ears ya douche.

**Baraggan**: Wahoh no, we're not fallin' for that again.

**Washington**: I am a special agent. From Command!

**Skullak**: And this is the voice of God. Give up your evil ways. Join the Blue Team-

_Washington punches him._

**Skullak**: Ow! Hey come on, seriously, you're gonna break it.

**Baraggan**: Haw yeah, well, if you're Command, then you'd know our secure code word, wouldn't you?

**Washington**: What? Oh right. Hold on one sec. The code word is... code word?

**Baraggan**: Baw, dahngit.

**Findor**: Sir, what did I tell you about that?

**Baraggan**: Alright men, stand down.

**Nirgge**: Stand down? We outnumber them three to two. That's like a three with a two, that's thirty-two percent advantage. You carry the one.

**Findor**: I don't wanna know how you came up with that, but you're actually right. What do you care though, I thought you loved giving up in the middle of battle.

**Nirgge**: Doesn't mean I wanna die.

**Baraggan**: Gentlemen. They know the code word. There's nothin' we can do.

**Nirgge**: Everybody knows our code word!

**Baraggan**: Alright, let's try negotiating. Nirgge, I want you to get out there. See what they want. But first leave your weapons and armor here so they don't feel threatened. Check that; take your weapon and give it to them.

**Nirgge**: No. Sarge, you may not think that I'm a good leader, but something about those Blues just doesn't feel right. And I have an uncanny sixth sense. So if you won't help me, I'll just have to get the local Reds to. This guy looks legit. Maybe he can help.

_Nirgge heads over to the Meta, who walked over next to a jeep while he was talking._

**Baraggan**: Nirgge, get back here! You don't know anything about those soldiers. To them Blue could be Red, or Red could be Blue or, they could be an opposite map.

**Nirgge**: Shut up old man, and watch how a real leader works. Hey there, soldier! What's your name?

**Meta**: *some kind of swooshing sound*

**Nirgge**: Huh, sounds like somebody has a cold. Anyway, listen. I need your help with some...

_The Meta lifts up the jeep._

**Nirgge**: ...thing. Wow. That's a cool trick. How did you do...

_The Meta turns toward Nirgge._

**Nirgge**: Uhm... I uh...

_Cut to Skullak and Wash._

**Skullak**: Man. It got pretty quiet out there. You don't think they're really working with the Meta, do you?

_Nirgge runs by, chased by a tumbling jeep._

**Nirgge**: Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, ooooh God!

**Washington**: ...No.


	13. Chapter 11

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 11! _

**Chairman**: Dear Director.

_Fade in to the beach of Zanzibar where numerous objects fall from the sky as the Chairman speaks._

**Chairman**: Do your "creative solutions" include the circumvention of the safety protocols that every member of the Military must follow? If they do not, then I fail to see how an enemy has managed to secure not one, but several of your experimental A.I.s. The protocol is not a guideline, dear Director, it is doctrine. And no one is above its rule.

_Cut to Nirgge running for his life as a tumbling Warthog chases behind him._

**Nirgge**: Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, ooooh God!

_The Warthog hits 2 palm trees, nearly crushing Nirgge. Skullak walks out of his hiding place._

**Skullak**: Oh my God, that guy got fucked up!

**Nirgge**: What the hell was that!?

**Skullak**: Aw, he lived? That's bullshit.

_Skullak returns to his hiding place._

**Baraggan**: Nirgge, if I've told you once I've told you a thousand times, you gotta pay attention in battle! You can't let yourself get distracted by- oh crap, flying jeep.

_A flying Warthog, thrown by the Meta, nearly hits Baraggan._

**Findor**: Run!

_Findor and Baraggan retreat, chased by several falling objects of considerable size and mass._

**Skullak**: Well. Guess they're definitely not workin' together.

**Washington**: Now that he's powered up he's just killing everything. We're next.

**Baraggan**: Move it or lose it.

**Findor**: Yeah come on, skootch, skootch.

**Skullak**: Hey. Get out of here Reds. This is our cover.

**Findor**: What is that thing?

**Skullak**: You guys remember Tex?

**Simmons**: Yeheah, the girl who kicked our asses all the time?

**Skullak**: Yeah well this thing's like, eight of her.

**Washington**: It must be at full power now. Skullak, you and the Reds keep it busy. I'm going to help Di-Roy.

_Washington runs off._

**Findor**: Did he say keep it busy?

**Skullak**: Yeah...

**Findor**: How the hell do we do that?

**Baraggan**: Looks like Nirgge is doing a pretty good job already.

_Cut to a pile of objects of considerable size and mass, with more arriving regularly, and Nirgge behind it._

**Nirgge**: Okay I get it! Stop throwing things at me you fucking jackass!

**Baraggan**: Keep up the good work, Nirgge!

**Nirgge**: Ow! Okay, that could have taken out an eye.

_Cut to Wash arriving at Di-Roy's limp body._

**Washington**: (_whispering_) Di-Roy. Are you okay? Di-Roy. Dammit. Delta, are you here? Delta?

_Wash places a healing unit next to Di-Roy in order to revive him. Radio sounds._

**Washington**: Skullak, I have Di-Roy. He's hurt, but I'm going to keep him alive with a healing unit. How are you doing with the Meta?

**Skullak**: _(over radio)_ Eheee! We're dying!

**Washington**: Oh, great.

_Cut back to everyone else except Nirgge as the Reds' Warthog, playing Tejano music, skids past the room they're all cowering in._

**Baraggan**: Hey, come on. We've still got payments left on that thing. You'd better not scratch the paint job.

**Meta**: _(weird swooshing sounds)_

**Washington**: Hi. Remember me?

_Wash approaches and fires at the Meta with a chain gun, and the Meta slows time, changes back to white, and leaves._

**Washington**: It's gone! Dammit! You idiots, we almost had it!

**Findor**: Almost had it? We never even hurt it!

**Skullak**: He means before you got here! We had it crippled and you guys showed up and fucked everything up!

**Baraggan**: Aw yeah. You guys looked like you had everything under control before we got here.

**Skullak**: Hey up yours Red. I don't see you doing anything heroic.

**Findor**: It threw our car at us.

**Nirgge**: I'm fine by the way, just in case anyone's wondering.

**Washington**: Well, the three of you are staying with us now. I can't possibly hope to fight the Meta in this state with just Skullak and ...Di-Roy!

**Skullak**: (_at the same time_) Di-Roy!

_Cut to everyone up with Di-Roy, still passed out peacefully._

**Skullak**: Wash, what's the verdict?

**Washington**: I don't know. He seems okay. I think he was knocked out, I just can't get him to come out of it.

**Di-Roy**: (_mumbling_) Whuh, I, memory is the key,

**Washington**: What's he mumbling?

**Skullak**: I can't make it out, but... I don't really understand half the stuff he says normally.

**Washington**: This makes no sense. All his vitals check out. Now why can't I revive him? Hey do you guys know a medic around here by any chance?

**The Reds**: NO!

**Skullak**: Well maybe removing Delta did something to him. Like a, duh a coma or somethin'.

**Washington**: Yeah, but there's no way to know that for sure. Unless you have a way to see inside his head. Prep him for evac, I'll put in a call to Command and get an extract going. This is Recovery One calling Command. Come in Command...

_Washington wanders off up the ramp._

**Findor**: Hey Blue, why don't you do that thing? You know, the thing you do. The ghost thing.

**Skullak**: Yeah, this guy doesn't know about that, so I don't really wanna let him know and freak him out. Why don't you go keep him occupied, I'll see what I can do.

_Findor heads up to join Wash._

**Findor**: Hey Agent Washington, I think it turns out we do know a medic after all. But he's really far away. Maybe if we run around this corner right here we'll get better reception.

_Skullak crouches down and leaves his body, then re-enters Di-Roy's twisted twisted mind._

**Skullak**: Euh. I hate coming here.

**Mental Wash**: Hello.

**Skullak**: Agent Washington?

**Mental Wash**: Yes. I am Agent Washing Tub. How are you doing, Di-Roy's best friend?

**Skullak**: Oh, right. Hi Agent Washington.

**Mental Wash**: What is this place?

**Skullak**: This is Di-Roy's mind, so everybody here is pretty much as Di-Roy sees the world. That means everyone's gonna be either really happy or, make no sense whatsoever.

**Mental Wash**: I see. That's valuable information. I will take that information, and I will keep it in a special folder marked secret. Everyone knows, that is the best security there is.

**Skullak**: I see.

**Mental Wash**: Don't tell anyone I told you that.

**Skullak**: Actually you act a lot like you do on the outside.

**Mental Wash**: I would like to think that's because I present myself in a very clear and consistent manner. Now if you will excuse me, I need to scare some people who are just trying to help me, and then go fight monsters and robots from the future. Freelancer power, activate!

_Mental Wash leaves._

**Skullak**: Yeah, okay, good luck with that.

_Delta appears, as a normal sized soldier in green armor._

**Delta**: Hello Skullak.

**Skullak**: Delta?

**Mental ****Di-Roy**: Yes, this is my new friend Delta. I believe he has information for you.

**Skullak**: Awesome!

**Delta**: Unfortunately, I have been taken by the Meta. This is merely a memory I left in Di-Roy's mind to help you along your way.

**Skullak**: Well then how are you talking to me?

**Delta**: I am not. I merely used logic to determine what questions you would ask, and in what order. Then I left the appropriate responses.

**Skullak**: Oh really.

**Delta**: Yes. Really. I left this memory in case you found it. Please tell Agent Washington, that memory is the key.

**Mental ****Di-Roy**: Memory is the key.

**Skullak**: Memory is the key? What does that mean?

**Delta**: Wash will know.

**Skullak**: Okay seriously, does it have to be a riddle? Can't you just tell me what you want me to do? How hard would that be? I bet this is your fault somehow.

**Mental ****Di-Roy**: I just work here.

**Skullak**: Well if you're in the Meta, then why don't you just help us from the inside?

**Delta**: Skullak, I have to be objective. The next time you see me, I may not want you to help me.

_Skullak pops out of Di-Roy._

**Skullak**: Delta, Delta wait! "Memory is the key"? What about the Meta, what about-

**Nirgge**: Uh, dude?

_Skullak looks up. See Washington & Findor staring at Skullak while in ghost form._

**Findor**: Yeah, turns out I'm not so good at distracting.

**Skullak**: Wash, don't panic, I can explain.

**Nirgge**: Yeah, see when Findor was boring you with random conversation about nerd stuff, he was really just trying to distract you from what the blue guy here was doing.

**Baraggan**: He means explain the fact that he's a ghost.

**Nirgge**: Oh, right. Yeah, he can explain that part too.

**Baraggan**: Idiot.


	14. Chapter 12

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 12! _

**Director**: Dear Chairman.

_Fade in to Di-Roy's mind_

**Director**: I too hold the protocol in the highest regard. The doctrine kept us all safe durin' the great war. If you are insinuating Sir, that we violated it in any way, or that we were derelict in our duty to the military, well then I suggest you be direct, and tell me exactly how we did so.

_Cut to Skullak's ghost standing over Di-Roy's body, surrounded by everyone else._

**Washington**: What is going on.

**Skullak**: Wash, stay calm. We can explain.

**Washington**: I don't want explanations, I want the truth. Now. When were you gonna tell me about this?

**Skullak**: Okay, maybe I should start from the beginning. You see, Di-Roy here, killed me by accident once. Well actually, more than once.

**Di-Roy**: Not my fault. Rey did it.

**Skullak**: Shut up.

**Washington**: He killed you. As in... dead.

**Baraggan**: Then we reached an agreement. I built Blue over here a new body-

**Skullak**: Agreement? More like we kicked your ass, and you didn't have much of a choice of what you wanted to do.

**Baraggan**: Who kicked what now?

**Findor**: What're you an idiot?

**Baraggan**: You wanna take that back.

**Skullak**: You guys totally gave up!

**Nirgge**: Bullshit.

**Skullak**: That was the time that Texas kicked your asses all over-

**Washington**: Stop. Focus. How did you build him a body?

**Baraggan**: With a robot kit of course. I'd already used ours to build our helper. Dordoni.

**Findor**: And a mighty fine job you did too, Sir.

**Nirgge**: Yeheah, it's always great to have a helper no one can understand.

**Baraggan**: Blue Team hadn't used theirs for some reason, and they even had an extra. We used that for your buddy uh, whatsername.

**Washington**: And that didn't strike anyone as odd? That you would have a kit to build a robot that looks like a soldier?

**Findor**: That's just standard issue equipment. Right?

**Washington**: What? No. Have you ever run in to anyone else who has one?

**Findor**: We don't really get out that often.

**Baraggan**: Okay, smart guy. If they're so rare, then why did Command send us upgraded ones when we were told to ship out to Rat's Nest?

**Skullak**: You guys went to Rat's Nest too?

**Baraggan**: I used some of the spare parts to spruce up Dordoni.

**Findor**: Spare parts? Did you fix his voice thing?

**Baraggan**: You know, I didn't even think about that until just this second. Kind of obvious in hindsight. Probably best not to mention it to him if you see him.

**Findor**: Meh, he wouldn't understand anyway.

**Skullak**: Your team sucks.

**Baraggan**: At least our robot isn't the leader of our team. Bluebot.

_Di-Roy finally wakes up and springs in to the conversation._

**Di-Roy**: Hey! That's not nice. He means us right?

**Skullak**: Yes, and shut up.

**Washington**: Stop it! I can't stand this. No more bickering. You have to be the most immature soldiers I've ever met!

**Nirgge**: Your face is immature.

**Washington**: Shut up. From now on everyone just keep quiet and don't talk unless I ask you a question. That's an order. I need to figure this out.

**Baraggan**: Hold on, you can't order us around!

**Washington**: Yes, I can.

**Baraggan**: What's your rank?

**Washington**: My rank? You still don't get it, do you? You think you're real soldiers? You're not. You guys are nothing.

**Nirgge**: Whatever. Your face is... nothing.

**Washington**: We used your outposts as testing grounds. Practice. You never noticed that you never had anything to do unless a Freelancer showed up, or you made a call to Command?

**Baraggan**: ...You're makin' that up.

**Washington**: Am I? Think about it. Name one thing that ever happened to you that wasn't directly preceded by Command calling you, or sending someone to your base. One thing. ...Anything? No? I thought so. You three go assess the vehicles. See if you can find some trail of the Meta while you're at it.

**Findor**: Ooh, finally a take-charge leader! I like it!

****Baraggan** and ****Nirgge**: Shut up.

**Washington**: Skullak, get back in your armor. You're just going to draw attention to yourself like that.

**Skullak**: Fine. But first-

**Washington**: No, no first, get in your armor.

**Skullak**: I really think I should tell you what it is-

**Washington**: Sh.

**Skullak**: I have a message from Delta.

**Washington**: Delta? Why didn't you tell me?

**Skullak**: Oh come on, seriously?

**Washington**: How did you get in contact with him?

**Skullak**: He left a message for me in Di-Roy's head. Actually for me to give to you. I guess he figured out I would get in there and find it.

**Washington**: How would he know that? Did he know what you are?

**Skullak**: Well I didn't tell him. But he seemed pretty smart. Maybe he just put two and two together.

**Di-Roy**: Four!

**Skullak**: That wasn't a test.

**Di-Roy**: Yes it was I won A-plus.

**Washington**: What was the message?

**Skullak**: He said "Memory is the key."

**Washington**: Memory is the key. Did he say anything else?

**Skullak**: Nothin' important.

**Di-Roy**: Memory is the key? What does that mean?

**Skullak**: He said Wash would know.

**Washington**: Memory is the key.

**Skullak**: Yeah I know, it didn't make any sense to me either. Just sounded like some kind of stupid riddle or somethin'.

**Washington**: Gather your gear. We're leaving. Now.

**Di-Roy**: I think he's angry because of what you said to him.

**Skullak**: Yeah. If I knew it was gonna make him leave I would've said it sooner.

_Cut to Wash arriving at the Reds and an overturned jeep._

**Washington**: What's the status of the vehicles? Report.

**Nirgge**: You could have asked nicely.

**Washington**: You're right, I could. Report.

**Baraggan**: They're all busted. We could probably fix one by takin' parts from all the others. That's one of my specialties. Gonna take a while though.

**Washington**: How long?

**Baraggan**: Couple-a days.

**Washington**: No time. We need to start moving ASAP. And we need six seats. You're gonna have to get me two jeeps in a few hours.

**Baraggan**: No can do. Not gonna happen.

**Washington**: Then we'll have to get them somewhere else. And I know exactly where we can find them.

**Skullak**: Why, where are we going?

**Washington**: Delta was right. Memory is the key.

**Skullak**: But what does that mean?

**Washington**: It means that only one thing remembers everything about these A.I. and where they come from. It will know how to stop them. We need to unlock the Alpha.

**Skullak**: The Alpha?

**Washington**: And that means we're going home. ...We're going to Command.

_Cut to Szayel standing in the middle of the facility._

**Szayel**: Hey Guys? I'm Here! Anybody?! You guys suck. Stupid windmill.


	15. Chapter 13

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 13! _

**Chairman**: Dear Director.

_Fade in to the Reds in one Warthog being chased by another._

**Chairman**: Our laws are not designed to outline every possible infraction that may take place! However the spirit of the law is clear. Blatant disregard for the safety and well-being of our citizens, in any form, will always be a punishable offense, regardless of how well, or by whom that offense has been justified.

_The Reds are in the lead car, being fired upon._

**Findor**: Here they come!

**Baraggan**: Findor, what're you waitin' for? Shoot 'em!

**Findor**: I can't, the stupid gun is jammed!

**Baraggan**: Step on it, Nirgge.

**Nirgge**: Yeah, no shit!

**Baraggan**: Whose idea was it to steal a jeep from these guys anyway?

_Cut to Wash and the Blues watching._

**Washington**: Nuhh, I knew this plan wouldn't work.

**Skullak**: We all knew this plan wouldn't work. None of our plans ever work.

**Di-Roy**: That's why we carry guns.

**Washington**: _(Mockingly)_ "We can get a car, no problem. We're better with vehicles than the Blues, let us handle this." Why did I even listen to them?

**Skullak**: I told you not to.

**Washington**: Yeah, well, I already stopped listening to you three bases ago.

**Di-Roy**: Well that's not very-

**Washington**: And I never started listening to you.

_The chase continues!_

**Baraggan**: Force them in to the wall.

**Nirgge**: On it!

_The pursuing car enters the base._

**Nirgge**: Where'd they go!?

**Baraggan**: Did ya lose 'em?

**Nirgge**: Looks like it.

_They skid to a stop as the other car works its way through the base._

**Baraggan**: What in Sam Hell? I don't believe it.

**Nirgge**: Well Sarge, I guess you owe me an apology. Turns out I'm not such a bad driver after-

_The other jeep emerges from the base right in front of them._

**Nirgge**: ...all.

_The other jeep's gunner turns the turret toward them._

**Nirgge**: Aw come on, what the fuck!

_The Blues watch the chase resume._

**Di-Roy**: Aw man. That jeep has a really big gun.

**Skullak**: Don't get any ideas.

**Washington**: (sigh) Well I guess I'd better get down there and save them. I'm really starting to hate this part of the job.

**Di-Roy**: Well at least you're getting a lot of practice at it.

**Washington**: Don't patronize me.

**Skullak**: You know, if we let one or two of 'em die we could probably all squeeze in to one car. Just saying, you should think about it.

**Di-Roy**: Oh, and if enough of us die, we can fit on a motorcycle!

**Skullak**: Alright good, he's gone. Di-Roy, you stay here, I'll be right back.

**Di-Roy**: You're leaving?

**Skullak**: Yeah.

_Skullak leaves his body again._

**Skullak**: For some reason he doesn't want me to see Tex's body. I'm gonna go try to find her.

**Di-Roy**: Um... Don-, don't leave me here with your body. It stares at me, and I don't like it.

**Skullak**: You'll be fine.

_Skullak leaves._

****Skullak's** body**: *humming sound*

**Di-Roy**: Stop it.

_Back to the chase._

**Findor**: Got it!

**Nirgge**: Great, you unjammed the gun? How 'bout you shoot 'em!?

**Baraggan**: Grif, just get us out of this!

**Nirgge**: Hold on, I wanna try something. I think I can make this jump!

**Baraggan**: Are you insane?

**Nirgge**: Yeah, fuck this, brakes!

_They skid to a sideways stop at the edge of a cliff, which the other jeep promptly jumps off of and explodes from gunfire._

**Nirgge**: Uhuh, we're really high.

**Findor**: Yeah, got him!

**Washington**: You idiots! We needed that jeep!

**Nirgge**: Uh yeah, and we needed not to die? What's your point?

**Washington**: There's still six of us. Where're we gonna get another vehicle?

_A gunship rises up behind Wash, and everyone turns to look at it._

**Washington**: ...Oh.

**Nirgge**: Hey, dude? In the future, don't ask for shit.

_Cut to the base, with a couple guards watching on._

**Guard 1**: Looks like the Hornet's gonna get 'em.

**Guard 2**: Yeah. They blew up our jeep though. That kinda sucks.

**Guard 1**: And they killed two of our friends, right?

**Guard 2**: Oh yeah that too.

**Guard 1**: Still I think -

_Church possesses the guard._

**Guard 1**: Heagurgurk!

**Guard 2**: You okay?

**Skullak**: Me?

**Guard 2**: Yeah you. What was that noise?

**Skullak**: I didn't, hear any noise.

**Guard 2**: It sounded like-

**Skullak**: I sneezed.

**Guard 2**: You sneezed.

**Skullak**: Yeah, so anyway, I'm gonna go in the base now, gonna go do some patrolling in there. You know how it goes. Standard ops stuff. Okay seeya.

**Guard 2**: What're you talkin' about, the CO said to stay out here. Make sure no one gets in the base.

**Skullak**: Oh it's okay. I uh, I spoke to the Sargeant. He gave me special orders.

**Guard 2**: Okay, yeah. Wait, you mean the Captain?

**Skullak**: Huh? Yeah right. That guy. Whatever.

_Skullak enters the base and we return to the Reds._

**Findor**: Run!

_Wash looks to the base and sees one of the guards (actually Skullak) enter it, and radios Di-Roy._

**Washington**: Dammit. Di-Roy! What is Skullak doing?

**Di-Roy**: Oh, uh, doing? Uh why nothing Agent Washington he's just standing next to me watching you get killed by the giant spaceship.

**Washington**: Oh really. Can you put him on then?

**Di-Roy**: Oh, I don't think so, um, we're, we're playing a game. Uh called, who can hold still the longest. Uhm, it's a fun game we-

_An explosion shakes the cliff they're on enough that Skullak's empty body falls over backward._

**Di-Roy**: ...I'm going to have to call you back.


	16. Chapter 14

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 14! _

**Director**: Dear Chairman.

_Fade in to the jeep being chased by the Hornet._

**Director**: Sir, while I appreciate your concern, allow me to correct you in one area. I value all our subjects' well being, but I revere above all else our ability to continue as a species; our ability to survive. And no committee, no bureaucrat, will ever convince me otherwise.

**Nirgge**: Hey I have a question, why do we agree to come along on these things if we're just gonna be the decoy the whole time?

**Washington**: Looks like you have it under control. I'll be right back.

_Cut to inside the base._

**Skullak**: Tex? Tex are you here? Tex come on. Tex! Cirucci?

_Sound of a gun cocking_

**Guard 2**: Alright, freeze.

**Skullak**: Ahw, what?

**Guard 2**: They told us to be on the lookout for someone acting odd, and you're acting odd. So hands up.

**Skullak**: Hehey, buddy, come on. You don't need to be like all...

_Wash enters behind the guard and knocks him out._

**Skullak**: ...knocked out. Thanks Wash.

**Washington**: Skullak, is that you in there?

**Skullak**: Uh yeah, one sec-

_Skullak appears next to the guy he was previously inhabiting._

**Skullak**: There.

**Guard 1**: What happened? I feel kinda...

_Guard 1 falls over._

**Washington**: What do you think you're doing in here?

**Skullak**: I had to see Tex's body I uh, ...she's like me Wash.

**Washington**: I know all about her Skullak. Come on, you're not gonna find anything in here.

**Skullak**: But where is she? She should be here right? I mean, shouldn't she?

**Washington**: We've all lost people Skullak. What's important, is that you remember her. And what's even more important is that you don't slow me down while I'm in the middle of a mission!

_Sound of explosion._

**Washington**: What now!?

_Cut to Wash and ghost Skullak standing outside the base watching the chase._

**Washington**: What is going on out here?

**Baraggan**: What does it look like?

**Nirgge**: We're running from the stupid plane!

**Washington**: Well, we need to leave. We have a Warthog at Blue Base. We'll take that and you follow me.

**Baraggan**: What about the ship!?

**Washington**: Well, take it down!

**Baraggan**: Not that simple!

**Nirgge**: If it's so easy, why don't you do it?

**Washington**: Fine.

_Wash fires at the Hornet to get its attention, and starts running, in a gunfight with it._

**Skullak**: Should we help him?

**Nirgge**: We could, or we could take bets on how long he's gonna live. I got ten bucks that says it's less than a minute.

**Skullak**: I'll take that action.

_Wash manoeuvers himself up on a cliff and shoots a barrel into the 'man cannon', which hurls it at the Hornet. Washington fires at the barrel as it nears the Hornet, bringing it down._

**Washington**: Okay, now can we go?

_Cut to everyone gathered outside Blue base._

**Washington**: Alright, I need suggestions. The Freelancer Command Facility is an underground complex of secure bunkers and fortified chambers. Let's put our heads together and see if we can figure out a way to get in there.

**Nirgge**: I have an idea.

**Washington**: And "let's not do it" is not an acceptable plan.

**Nirgge**: Oh. Well you probably should have said that before you asked for suggestions.

**Washington**: Next idea.

**Findor**: Why don't we call Command, and ask them what the proper procedure is for invading their headquarters?

**Washington**: Next.

**Baraggan**: How about we build a makeshift nuclear device, and blow the entire place to kingdom-

**Washington**: No. We have to get in there.

**Findor**: Why?

**Washington**: 'Cause we need to unlock the Alpha.

**Findor**: The what?

**Skullak**: It's the main A.I. from Project Freelancer. You know all the A.I.s that we've been dealing with over the years? It's where they were all copied from originally.

**Findor**: You can't copy an A.I.

**Nirgge**: The main one? Fuck that. Those things have caused all of our problems. Why would we go looking for the main boss one?

**Skullak**: That's a good question. Agent Washington? Do you wanna answer that?

**Washington**: You'll understand everything soon enough.

**Findor**: We're not going.

**Washington**: What? You have to go.

**Findor**: Not really.

**Washington**: We can't infiltrate Headquarters with just three people. You're coming. That's an order.

**Nirgge**: Order? You're not our Commanding Officer. We don't even know what rank you are.

**Washington**: I'm a Freelancer!

**Nirgge**: Not a rank dude.

**Findor**: The other Freelancers never gave orders, they just offered to trade favors.

**Washington**: Okay, then let's bargain. What do you want.

_The Reds conference, with random mumbling between the real words._

**Nirgge**: Three words guys,

**Baraggan**: New base-

**Nirgge**: Gold plated vagina.

**Findor**: Shut up.

**Baraggan**: Lasers.

**Findor**: Always with that.

**Nirgge**: Nudie mags.

**Baraggan**: Robots and lasers. Lasers, and robots.

**Nirgge**: Milkshake.

_The Reds turn to the Blues and Washington._

**Baraggan**: Alright, we talked about it, and we figured out what we want.

**Washington**: Alright, let's have it.

**Baraggan**: We want you to demote Nirgge.

**Washington**: Done.

**Nirgge**: What!?

**Findor**: Another wasted opportunity.

**Washington**: Congratulations. You are now Private Nirgge again.

**Baraggan**: Got anything lower?

**Washington**: Private, Junior Nirgge?

**Baraggan**: I was thinkin' something with an insulting adjective, or... maybe a demeaning adverb...

**Washington**: How about, Minor Junior Private Nirgge, Negative First class?

**Baraggan**: Heh heh, I like the way you think.

**Nirgge**: You realize you just doomed us to certain death just so you could insult me, right?

**Baraggan**: Hey if we do get killed at least we'll go out on a high note. Well everybody but you. That's to be expected, you haven't had a high note in five years! Why break the God damn streak.

**Washington**: We still need to figure out how we're getting in there.

**Di-Roy**: Mister Washington? I have an idea.

**Washington**: I really shouldn't even bother asking, should I?

**Skullak**: I don't know, Di-Roy? An idea? I think he's bluffing.

**Di-Roy**: No uh, it's a really good idea. We drive there.

**Skullak**: Yeah, he was bluffing.

**Di-Roy**: We're going to Freelancer City, right? The place where Freelancer's from. And this is a Freelancer car! If they think that we are Freelancers, because we are in their car, they will just let us right in!

**Washington**: But you don't look like Freelancers. Or Recovery Agents.

**Di-Roy**: They can't see inside of a tank.

_Cut to Project Freelancer - Operational Command Center. Wash and Skullak are in the Warthog, everyone else is in the tank._

**Skullak**: There's no, way, this plan is gonna work.

**Washington**: Just stay quiet. Follow my lead.

**Baraggan**: Grif! Get off me, you weigh a ton.

**Nirgge**: Stop pushing me! Ow!

**Findor**: Okay guys, it's hard enough to fit in here ohl! Whll- Who did that?

**Nirgge**: Alright, whose hand was that? Is Charlotte in here?

**Di-Roy**: I can't breathe.

**Guard**: Alright. Uh, story checks out. Looks like there was a new incident at Outpost 17B. Glad you fellas made it out okay.

**Washington**: Yeah, thanks.

**Skullak**: Yeah, it was crazy. We lost a lot of good men. Especially Joe, Joe Johnson. He was a great guy. I remember he had a girl back home named... Fritzy.

**Washington**: Stop embellishing. They already believe us.

**Skullak**: He also had a dog named Mister Chomps. Anyway he's dead now, it's sad.

**Guard**: You're clear now. So drive on to Building 3.

**Washington**: Understood. Thanks, soldier.

**Skullak**: Can't believe that worked.

**Washington**: Yeah. Seemed like it was too easy.

**Skullak**: Wash, you're gonna learn when you work with us, there's no such thing as too easy. You're just being paranoid.

**Washington**: Yeah. You're probably right.

_As they roll into the compound the Meta is seen hanging off the back of the tank._


	17. Chapter 15

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 15! _

**Chairman**: Dear Director.

_Fade in to Freelancer HQ, with everyone gathered in a room with long window overlooking outside._

**Chairman**: Please do not attempt to recast this investigation as some type of personal vendetta. Our questions to this point have been fairly standard. Your reactions have not. As such, we have secured all your records and logs by the authority granted us by the UNSC. Now we shall see exactly what it is, that you have to hide.

**Washington**: Alright, we got in, but that's only part of our mission. So no celebrating yet.

**Nirgge**: _(sarcastically)_ Aw shit, and I was gonna be in charge of confetti.

**Washington**: We still need to reach the A.I. storage facility. Security's tight since the Freelancers tried to break in here.

**Skullak**: You mean when they tried to steal the Alpha before?

**Washington**: Exactly.

**Nirgge**: The Freelancers tried to break in to their own command facility? That's dumb.

**Findor**: That's what we're doin' right now you jackass.

**Nirgge**: So? Just because we do something doesn't make it smart.

**Findor**: *sigh* Tell me about it.

**Washington**: I have the necessary clearance to get close to the storage hall. The plan is, I'll take Skullak as a prisoner. If I take more than one of you it won't be believable.

**Di-Roy**: Agent Washington, I want you to take me instead.

**Skullak**: What're you talkin' about?

**Di-Roy**: I will be your prisoner. Let Skullak go. He doesn't have anything to do with this!

**Skullak**: Di-Roy, I'm not actually going to be a prisoner. I'm just gonna pose as one so that we can get past-

**Di-Roy**: Have a good life Skullak. Don't worry. I won't tell them anything. They won't get any information out of me. No matter how nicely they ask.

**Skullak**: Oh my God, just shut up.

**Baraggan**: Sacrificing himself for his CO. What a good soldier. Why can't you two be more like him?

**Nirgge**: What, braindead?

**Findor**: I would sacrifice Nirgge for you Sir.

**Baraggan**: I know you would Findor. But it's just not the same thing.

**Findor**: No but seriously I would. Just give me the word. I'll do it right fucking now, let's go. Bring it.

**Nirgge**: Why are you taking Skullak? What about the rest of us?

**Washington**: We're sneaking past seven levels of armed checkpoints. Are you volunteering?

**Nirgge**: Uh, it was a hypothetical question?

**Washington**: The rest of you hole up and wait for us to finish. And don't touch anything.

**Baraggan**: How will we know when you're done?

**Washington**: When you see every guard in the base running in one direction? That means we're probably in trouble.

**Skullak**: All the guards? Whu- yuh- wait, wh-why are we taking Skullak, again?

**Washington**: Just keep the guards off of us, and we'll radio when we're in position. This will be our extraction point.

**Nirgge**: Keep them off you?

**Washington**: Yeah.

**Skullak**: Distract them, dipshit.

**Nirgge**: How?

**Washington**: Well, this is the center that came up with all the ridiculous scenarios you guys have suffered through over the years. So have fun. Break some shit.

_Cut to Washington walking Skullak up to a checkpoint with two guards in front of a door._

**Guard 1**: Hold on, don't come any closer. I need you to stay right there, Sir.

**Washington**: Understood. I need access to the next level. The Councilor wants to interrogate another survivor from Outpost 17B.

**Guard 1**: What? I thought all the Blues at Valhalla were dead. Where'd this one come from?

**Washington**: I don't have to explain anything to you, soldier. Stand down.

**Guard 1**: Sorry Sir, I didn't mean anything by that-

**Washington**: Fine. I'll let it go. As you were.

**Guard 1**: Something doesn't seem right to me. I'm gonna have to call this in.

**Washington**: Absolutely. Call it in. Let me just NOW!

_Washington drops one guard, and Skullak drops to a knee and empties his entire clip at the other guard at point blank range; the guard is still standing, unscathed._

**Skullak**: Uh, hey can I get a little help I'm, out of bullets.

_Washington shoots the other guard in the face._

**Skullak**: Thanks.

_Cut back to the Reds and Di-Roy._

**Findor**: This patrol was seventeen seconds late. Who's runnin' this place? How inefficient. Sloppy...

**Baraggan**: I'm bored outta my gourd.

**Nirgge**: So what? Bored is good. Bored means we're not dying. Boredom I can deal with. I have years of practice.

**Di-Roy**: Yes! Nirgge talked, I won, I won the who can be the quietest game again.

**Nirgge**: Yeah, good job. That's ten in a row for you Di-Roy. Hey, you know what? We should play again. Best eleven out of twenty-one.

**Di-Roy**: Yes. You're all going down.

**Findor**: Heh. We should try holding our breath next.

**Baraggan**: Well that's it. I can't stand just sittin' around. I'm goin' mad with anticipation.

**Simmons**: We've only been here twelve minutes.

**Baraggan**: Are you sure? My mission clock says three days.

**Findor**: *sigh* That's because you wouldn't synchronize at the start of the mission, remember? I said we should synchronize, and you said "Why would we synchronize? It's like we're in the future, seeing what the enemy does before they do it. Why would we give up the advantage?"

**Baraggan**: Come on, Findor, who could possibly remember an annoying conversation we had three whole days ago?

**Findor**: Twelve minutes ago.

**Baraggan**: Nirgge, what's your clock say?

**Nirgge**: Um, actually mine's a countdown to the next episode of Battlestar Galactica? Priorities dude.

**Di-Roy**: Ah- ah- I just won again! Man, you guys are really bad at this game! It's- it's like you're not even playing at all!

_Cut to Wash and Skullak in a large room with holographic symbols shimmering on the walls._

**Washington**: Here. This is it.

**Skullak**: Whoa. What is this place?

**Washington**: It's the storage facility for all the A.I.s. The rejects, the bad variants... everything is here. Everything.

**Skullak**: Dear lord, what're all these lights on the walls?

**Washington**: It's holographic storage.

**Skullak**: And one of these things is Alpha?

**Washington**: You work on closing that door. I'll find what we're looking for. And when I do, every soldier on base is sure to come running. So be ready.

_Wash approaches one of the walls._

**Whispy voice**: Washington... Washington... You suck...

_Time passes._

**Washington**: Skullak I got it, get over here. Here, this is it. There.

**Skullak**: Oh, great you found it already?

_A loud reverberating boom comes from the wall panel._

**Skullak**: Ah!

**Washington**: What's wrong?

**Skullak**: Nothing I just had like a weird flash- uh, ah!

**Washington**: Are you alright?

**Skullak**: Yeah, I think it's this thing. It's like, sending out images. Is this the Alpha?

**Washington**: No. This is not the Alpha.

**Skullak**: No? Then what is it?

**Washington**: This, is Epsilon. ...This is my A.I.


	18. Chapter 16

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 16!_

**Director**: Dear Chairman.

_Fade in to the AI Containment Facility._

**Director**: I imagine this investigation of our program is providing you with the kind of attention that politicians crave so much. How very predictable. What has surprised me most about mankind during the great war, is not our ability to adapt to the new arenas of conflict, but instead, our willingness in victory to so quickly return to the old.

_Cut to Skullak and Washington._

**Skullak**: You mean to tell me we've come all this way for this? Your fucking crazy A.I. Epsilon?

**Washington**: Yes. I thought it was gone. But Delta told you memory was the key. At first I thought he meant to remember our first encounter. And when I met Delta the first time what I told him was-

_The scene flashes toward Skullak and we see a flashback of Wash talking with Delta._

**Washington**: You were encrypted until you could be recovered.

**Delta**: Recovery carries risk. Destruction ensures that an A.I.-

**Washington**: You cost a lot of money, okay? It's cheaper to recover you than it is to delete you.

_Back to present day._

**Washington**: When they removed Epsilon from me, he was unravelling, casting off all his thoughts. I was sure they deleted him but it's-

**Skullak**: It's cheaper to store it than it is to delete it. Right?

**Washington**: Right.

**Skullak**: But why are we looking for this thing? What's the point?

**Washington**: The message specifically said that memory is the key. Delta was telling me that Epsilon was still alive.

**Skullak**: And Epsilon is the key?

**Washington**: In a way. At the end of the war, things didn't look good for humans. And there were dozens of projects all trying to come up with the magic bullet to win.

**Skullak**: Right.

**Washington**: Project Freelancer was one of them. They had their research with agressive A.I. But they could only get the one, and they needed more to conduct their experiments. So, they got desperate.

**Skullak**: Right. They tried to... they tried to copy it but they couldn't, so they-

**Washington**: All A.I. are based on a human mind. And the Director had a theory. He thought, if we can't copy it, we'll just have to do the next best thing.

_A scene flashes for Skullak._

**Skullak**: Ah! They, they split it?

**Washington**: Just like a human mind when it's broken; it fragments. It fractures itself to protect itself.

**Skullak**: They tortured it.

**Washington**: Like reverse engineering a multiple personality disorder. They presented Alpha with scenario after scenario of stress and danger. When it started to fragment, they harvested those fragments.

**Skullak**: The Freelancer A.I.s.

**Washington**: Exhorted little fragments of purified compartmentalized emotion. None of them were a full personality. Some were good-

**Skullak**: Like Delta?

**Washington**: Delta was Alpha's logic. It needed to protect itself from analyzing what was happening to it. So it segregated that part of its mind. The part that would be able to understand the horror of what they were doing to it. And when the anger came and threatened to take over, it split that off too. That was Omega; its rage. Gamma was its deceit. Sigma was its creativity. And Epsilon...

**Skullak**: Epsilon was its memories.

**Washington**: And memory is the key.

_Cut to the Reds and Di-Roy._

**Nirgge**: Uhh, okay. Now I'm bored. Findor, promise to do me a favor. If the madness sets in, just shoot me.

**Baraggan**: Do everyone a favor and shoot him now.

**Findor**: Is that an order?

**Baraggan**: Nah, save your bullets for somethin' worthwhile.

_While nobody's looking out the window, a transparent shape moves across from right to left._

**Baraggan**: Hey Findor, get over here! Hustle up!

**Findor**: What's up Sir?

**Baraggan**: You're good with uh, computers, right?

**Findor**: Well I'd like to think so, I mean there's really all different kinds of skill sets. Like you have your binary computation, you have uh bus transport-

**Baraggan**: Yes or no?

**Findor**: Yes.

**Baraggan**: Okay here's what I'm thinin'. If this is Command, and these computers have some of those internets installed on 'em-

**Findor**: There's just one internet, Sir, and I don't think it's located inside this building.

**Baraggan**: They probably have all the information about everything, right? Like in a, spreadabase or, one of them ROM things? Datasheet?

**Findor**: I'm sorry, was that something I was supposed to understand? Was that even English?

**Baraggan**: Come on, man, you know, like all the mainframes, on the Reds and the Blues. Series of Tubes and whatnot.

**Findor**: Ookayy, you're using a lot of terms that don't really make sense. I think you're asking me if these computers store all the data on Red and Blue Armies?

**Baraggan**: Control-Alt-Bingo.

**Findor**: Probably.

**Baraggan**: Could you get in to it?

**Findor**: Yeah, if I had some time. What're you thinking Sir?

**Baraggan**: Findor, I want you to erase the Blues.

**Findor**: What, you mean like the Blues from our canyon?

**Baraggan**: No Findor, all of them. Gone. Erased. As in wiped off the map. Kablooie. Terminate process.

**Findor**: Sir, you just blew my mind.

_Cut back to Wash and Skullak._

**Washington**: As they continued to torture it Alpha couldn't keep its sanity and its memories at the same time. So it had to purge them. That fragment became Epsilon. And I was just unlucky enough to have it assigned to me.

**Skullak**: So you knew. You knew from the beginning what was going on.

**Washington**: Mostly. They never told anyone what they did here. I got flashes when they put Epsilon in my head. Memories of what the Director did to it.

_Flashback to Wash and the Counselor._

**Counselor Zommari**: So you would say that you have overwhelming feelings of anger, and a need for revenge?

**Washington**: More than you know.

_Back to present._

**Washington**: Just like you're getting now. That's why Epsilon went insane; it was meant to. It was all the horrible experiences the Alpha needed to shed to survive. And that's why it had to be removed from me.

**Skullak**: Did they know that you had the memories?

**Washington**: I never said a word. But they had their suspicions.

_Flashback to Wash and South._

**Washington**: Do you still have yours?

**South**: No Wash, I never had one. I was in the implant group behind you, remember? And after what happened to you, nobody got any more.

_Back to present._

**Washington**: I would never let them put another A.I. in my head. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to hide what I knew from another program. Which ironically is what led them to think I could be trusted.

**Skullak**: Well what do we do with it?

**Washington**: We take it, and we get it in the hands of someone who can use all its information. Then they can bring down the person responsible for what was done to Alpha. And to me. And to my friends. They can take down the Director.

**Skullak**: But what about the Meta? How do we stop him? Isn't that the point? I thought only the Alpha could do that. Are we gonna find it or not?

**Washington**: No.

**Skullak**: No?

**Washington**: After the first attack on Command, they moved it. They knew the A.I. would just convince their Freelancers to come looking for it again. So they put it in a place where they didn't think anyone could find it.

**Skullak**: But, where? Shouldn't we be there, instead of here?

**Washington**: Skullak, I need you to listen to me. Delta was the logic. He was able to figure out things before anyone else. It's why he left a message for you in a way that he knew only you could find, and in a way that let me see you getting it.

**Skullak**: What are you saying?

**Washington**: I'm saying I know what you are. Even if you don't. Why you can seemingly live without a body.

**Skullak**: What?

**Washington**: It's why they stuck you in some useless backwater canyon where no one ever goes. Then why they transferred every person in your outpost to a different base than you.

_Flash back to Skullak meeting Wash and Di-Roy._

**Skullak**: I've been here fourteen months.

**Washington**: What? Over a year, by yourself?

_Back to present._

**Washington**: It's why you always agreed with everything Delta said.

_Flash back to Skullak talking with Delta._

**Delta**: I think we should simply be happy it is gone.

**Skullak**: That makes sense to me.

_Back to present._

**Washington**: Why you didn't feel anything when Omega got inside your head.

_Back._

**Skullak**: Feels pretty much the same, that's, that's kinda weird.

_Present._

**Washington**: Why you can jump from person to person the way it can.

_Back._

**Washington**: It all adds up then. Omega was the one who inherited that trait.

_Present._

**Washington**: Skullak, there's no such thing as ghosts. You're one of them. You're an A.I. You, are the Alpha.

**The truths as been reveal. How will Skullak react to this? Just wait and review to find out. **


	19. Chapter 17

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 17!_

**Chairman**: Dear Director.

_Fade in to Skullak and Wash._

**Chairman**: It is now clear, that your agency and its primary program "Project Freelancer" have abused the trust and freedoms that the Oversight Sub-committee has provided you. Your abuse of the Alpha A.I. will now become the subject of a criminal investigation. I am sorry Director, but you have seen the end of my patience.

_Skullak and Wash look at each other silently before we cut to Findor typing at Terminal 84-C - Administrator Access Only._

**Baraggan**: What're you finding out, Findor?

**Findor**: Looks like all the Blue records are here, I just don't have the access to delete them. I'm trying to work around that right now.

**Nirgge**: Ooh, try hacking the mainframe.

**Findor**: This isn't a mainframe system.

**Nirgge**: How 'bout cracking it, would cracking it work?

**Findor**: Nirgge shut up! Stop making suggestions when you have no idea what you're talking about.

**Nirgge**: Well, if you want help-

**Findor**: I don't want help.

**Nirgge**: Maybe you should explain what's going on, and I could make an educated suggestion.

**Findor**: Educated? Okay, fine. This computer is a dedicated interface with a highly developed security protocol. The information we are accessing is stored on a separate database with its own dedicated hardware. That system has its own distinct layer of security. From what I can tell, the two systems verify their identities by trading randomly generated two thousand fifty six bit encryption keys. I'm tryin' to spoof one of those keys right now. So, Nirgge. I'm all ears. Any suggestions?

**Nirgge**: Oh yeah, I've seen that before. You should try uploading a virus to the mainframe.

**Findor**: Jesus.

**Nirgge**: I find viruses that feature a laughing skull tend to work the best.

**Findor**: Shut the fuck up and let me work!

_Cut back to Skullak and Wash._

**Skullak**: You're a fucking idiot.

**Washington**: That's not the reaction I expected.

**Skullak**: You think I'm a computer program.

**Washington**: Why is that hard to believe?

**Skullak**: Uh, how 'bout 'cause I'm a person. That I have been my whole life? That I have memories from when I was a kid? And I don't remember being a calculator, dude.

**Washington**: A.I. are programs based on an actual human mind. You're bound to have some residual memories. They're just not yours.

**Skullak**: Oh you're so full o' shit.

**Washington**: And after what you've been through it's not hard to imagine you wouldn't-

**Skullak**: Oh, st- thi- give me a break dude.

**Washington**: Okay, fine. I guess you being a spirit makes more sense.

**Skullak**: Fuck yeah, it does. It's way less geeky, asshole.

**Washington**: A spirit.

**Skullak**: Yeah. That's right.

**Washington**: A ghost!

**Skullak**: Boo, mother fucker.

_Back to the Reds._

**Baraggan**: Findor, how's your progress?

**Findor**: Good, I'm almost in. This blinking light is really distracting me though.

**Baraggan**: What is it?

**Nirgge**: Hey guys, I told Di-Roy to watch out the windows in the next room. That should give us some relief.

**Baraggan**: Good. Findor, if that light bothers you so much, just turn it off.

**Findor**: Hey, I got a great idea, how 'bout if someone else does somethin' for once. I'm workin' here!

****Nirgge****: Heuh, I'll do it.

_Nirgge hits the light and we hear radio sounds._

**Rey**: Hello! Come in Command! Do you read Command? Why isn't anyone answering!?

**Nirgge**: What should I say?

**Findor**: Who the fuck cares, just get rid of him.

**Nirgge**: Um, hello. Uh, this is Command. Go ahead.

**Rey**: Finally! Hey! This is a distress call! We need help down here ASAP! Mayday, and all that shit!

**Nirgge**: Oh, yeah, uh, sorry dude, there's no one here to take your call right now.

**Rey**: What!?

**Nirgge**: Can I take a message?

**Rey**: Dude that's bullshit. You guys suck.

**Nirgge**: Is that the message?

**Rey**: No it's not the message asshole! Tell them, we found what we're looking for, and it's under the sand. Send, help, now.

**Findor**: (_whispering_) What the hell is he talking about?

**Nirgge**: (_whispering_) Who the fuck knows? (_speaking_) Under, sand. Uh okay. I got it. As soon as they get back I'll be sure to grab them and uh, slip it to 'em.

**Rey**: Yeah, slip it to 'em! Bow chicka bow wow.

**Nirgge**: ...What'd you say?

_Sound of explosion._

**Rey**: Oh shit, gotta go!

**Nirgge**: Was that who I think it was?

**Di-Roy**: Did somebody here just say something?

_Back to Skullak and Wash._

**Washington**: Look, you can resist this all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that I need your help to beat the Meta.

**Skullak**: Why me?

**Washington**: Who else, Skullak?

**Skullak**: Why not Tex? She's a ghost, like me. Use her.

**Washington**: But she's not you. Even if I could find her, even if she's still alive I don't think I could trust her. Tex is... confusing. The Director and Councilor always worked so closely with her, she was, like... their favorite.

**Skullak**: You sound jealous. What's the matter, Daddy didn't love you enough?

**Washington**: We were a competitive group. We had to be. But she always had special treatment from our superiors. There has to be a reason for that. She is... she's... I don't know what she is.

**Skullak**: Uhuh, what? You don't know something? I thought you knew everything?

**Washington**: No Skullak, I don't know everything. You're not going to get all the answers you want. But what I do know is that the Meta and this program are an enormous danger to everyone. And we just need to do what's expected of us. Do you think you can-

_An alarm starts going off._

**Skullak**: Oh great! What is that?

**Washington**: We've been found out. Quick, grab Epsilon. I'll lead us out. Keep your head down.

**Skullak**: Okay, but if this fucking thing sends out any more images, I'm gonna throw it in the nearest trash can.

_Cut to the Reds and Di-Roy, with the alarm still going off._

**Di-Roy**: Does anyone else hear that?

**Nirgge**: Yes, we all hear it Di-Roy.

**Baraggan**: Findor, did you do that?

**Findor**: I don't think so. Hope not.

**Di-Roy**: Uh, red guys? Uhm, white guys are coming? Aaand, they look mad.

_One of the approaching white guys throws a grenade at the building, and the grenade explodes._

**Di-Roy**: Really, mad.

**Baraggan**: Nirgge, close those shutters!

**Nirgge**: On it.

_The shutters close._

**Findor**: Here, I got it! This is every bit of information about the Blues and their soldiers!

**Baraggan**: Can you erase it?

**Findor**: I can, but Sarge maybe we should think about this for a moment. What happens if we delete the Blues?

**Baraggan**: It means they never existed.

**Findor**: But did you ever stop to think, what does it mean to be red if there is no blue? If they never existed what's the purpose of even having a red army if there's no one for us to fight? Do you understand what I mean? It's like, flip sides of the same-

_Baraggan steps forward and pushes the button. The words "BLUES DELETED" appear on the screen._

**Findor**: ...coin.

**Baraggan**: What it means is what it's always meant. We rule, they suck. Don't over analyze it you pussy.

**Nirgge**: Oh my God. Where's Di-Roy?

**Baraggan**: What in the-

**Findor**: Where did he go? *gasp* You don't think that deleting him from the computer somehow altered the fabric of reality and removed him from-

_Di-Roy appears._

**Di-Roy**: Hey guys. I was just tryin' to find the bathroom. Skullak always has me go before a big battle. He hates when I ask to go in the middle of one.

**Findor**: Oh...

**Baraggan**: Did you want to finish your thought, Findor?

**Findor**: Naw that's okay, I'm- I'm cool.

**Nirgge**: Come on dude, tell us more about the reality bending computer. I'm hanging on your every word.

**Findor**: I don't wanna talk about it.

**Baraggan**: How do we turn this damn alarm off? Maybe it's one of those clap things.

_Baraggan claps twice and the alarm stops._

**Baraggan**: There we go.


	20. Chapter 18

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 18!_

**Director**: Dear Chairman.

_Fade in to the Freelancers attacking the structure._

**Director**: I don't give a damn about your committee and its opinions of my work! Have you forgotten Sir, we were at war? A fight with an alien race for the very survival of our species? I feel I must remind you, that it is an undeniable, and may I say a fundamental quality of Man, that when faced with extinction, every alternative is preferable!

_Cut to Skullak and Wash running up a ramp._

**Soldier**: Over here, over here!

**Washington**: Get that door!

_The door closes behind them and they arrive with the Reds._

**Skullak**: What's the status up here?

**Nirgge**: Fucked up, 'bout to die, Findor is a nerd... the usual.

**Baraggan**: Looks like we've got at least half a dozen squads out there. They know our position, and we're outgunned.

**Washington**: So, what's the plan?

**Baraggan**: Well we were gonna retreat down the hall until you just brought more guards up that way, so now the plan's pretty much to go down swinging. You first.

**Nirgge**: Hey Findor, can you get back on that computer and change my affiliation from Red to Freelancer?

**Findor**: Traitor.

**Nirgge**: Hey, you gotta go with the winner.

**Di-Roy**: Um, could you change my job title to something more important like astronaut-oh, I know, Space Marine!

**Skullak**: What are you idiots doing?

**Findor**: This computer has all of Command's records.

**Skullak**: It does? Records on everybody?

**Findor**: Yeah. You know, theoretically.

_Findor alt-tab's the screen to something benign to no longer show the big BLUES DELETED on screen._

**Findor**: Hup du-doo, doo doo, nothin' to see here, doo doo doo doo...

**Skullak**: Oh great, now I'll show you that you're wrong.

**Washington**: What an excellent idea.

**Findor**: Wrong about what?

**Skullak**: Wash has been trying to convince me, that I'm, an A.I.

**Nirgge**: Hunh? Why would he do that?

**Washington**: Because he's transparent? He can take over other people, you know, that kind of stuff.

**Nirgge**: That's because he's a ghost dude.

**Skullak**: Thank you, that's what I said.

**Washington**: If he's a ghost, why aren't any of the other soldiers turning in to ghosts?

**Skullak**: Okay fine, why don't we just settle this? Findor, look me up in the database.

**Findor**: Yeah I'd like to help, but we may have just kind of, you know, deleted all that stuff for the Blues.

**Washington**: All of what stuff for the Blues?

**Findor**: The everything stuff?

**Washington**: Didn't I tell you not to touch anything?

**Findor**: Yes. But, you also told us to break stuff. This seemed like an excellent compromise.

**Skullak**: Alright, great, that's fantastic now I can't prove him wrong, and I don't get a paycheck. Fucking great, thanks guys.

**Baraggan**: And your side never existed! Which means Red wins. Suck it you non-existant losers!

**Skullak**: Doh nobody gives a fuck about that.

**Baraggan**: Sour grapes.

**Nirgge**: No way, he's not a computer.

**Baraggan**: How can we be sure?

**Di-Roy**: Maybe we should ask him something only a computer would know.

**Findor**: Like what?

**Di-Roy**: What's nine times eight?

**The Reds**: Seventy two.

**Di-Roy**: Oh my God it's spreading.

**Nirgge**: How 'bout this: show me some porn.

**Skullak**: What?

**Findor**: What?

**Baraggan**: What?

**Nirgge**: That's what all my computers do. Oh, oh, uh, uh, steal some music for me. Oh or uh uh, talk about politics and bore the shit out of me.

**Di-Roy**: Do you have any pictures of cats in serious situations?

**Washington**: Because of the trauma he's been through, he's not going to be able to access most of his functions. He may not even realise his full potential.

**Baraggan**: Not living up to his potential? That means Nirgge's a computer too.

**Washington**: It doesn't matter. We don't need him to believe. Until the next time we encounter the Meta.

_There's a loud sound of something landing on top of the building._

**Washington**: What the Hell was that!?

**Baraggan**: Come on, do you even need to ask?

_The Meta half-materializes on top of the building and the Freelancers stop firing._

**Soldier**: Primary target has arrived. Engage, engage!

_Open fire._

**Skullak**: The Meta, how'd he get inside the compound?

**Findor**: What do you mean how, it took us like ten minutes. Not that hard.

**Washington**: Perfect.

**Skullak**: Perfect?

**Washington**: He's been following us since I found Di-Roy. I knew he couldn't resist getting his hands on all the stored Command A.I.s. Especially Epsilon.

**Skullak**: You knew about this?

**Washington**: Knew about it? I planned on it. Still have Epsilon?

**Skullak**: Yeah, of course.

**Washington**: Good, let's get it to safety. Then we can finish this. Once and for all.

**Skullak**: You know I'm starting not to trust you.

**Baraggan**: What do you mean startin' to?

_Cut to Wash, the reds and blues arriving at a garage with several jeeps._

**Nirgge**: What is this, the motor pool?

**Washington**: Yes. Looks like everyone is outside fighting the Meta. Still, be careful. Red, you grab a vehicle. Di-roy, somehow I hate to ask this, but, can you drive?

**Di-Roy**: Yes. But not an automatic; only stick.

**Washington**: Why can't you drive-

**Nirgge**: We're in a rush, come back to it later.

**Washington**: Right. Di-roy, grab that car. Skullak, put Epsilon in Di-Roy's jeep. You guys are gonna make a break for it. Take Epsilon and turn him over to the authorities. They'll know what to do with him.

**Baraggan**: You're not comin'?

**Washington**: No. Skullak and I are staying. Project Freelancer had one last resort failsafe: a high power E.M.P. that can wipe out all the A.I. in this facility. Now that the Meta is here we have a chance to take them all out at once and put this entire project out of commission.

**Nirgge**: What's an E.M.P.?

**Washington**: It's an electo-magnetic pulse. It wipes out all circuitry and computers it touches. It will destroy the A.I.-

**Findor**: Oh, you mean an Emp.

**Baraggan**: Yeah, I was just about to say. Sounds like he's talkin' 'bout an Emp.

**Washington**: Emp? That's not how you say it.

**Baraggan**: That's how most people say it. "Emp."

**Washington**: No, they don't.

**Skullak**: I say it that way.

**Washington**: It's initials for Electro, Magnetic, Pulse. That's E.M.P.

**Nirgge**: Right. Which spells Emp. Durr.

**Washington**: We don't have time for this. You're wrong.

**Findor**: Why don't we take a vote.

**Washington**: A vote? No. No vote, you're just wrong. There's no vote, it's E.M.P.

**Di-Roy**: Not very democratic.

**Washington**: Being wrong isn't a Democracy. Skullak and I will work our way down to the Director's lab while the rest of you escape.

**Baraggan**: What if the Meta follows us?

**Washington**: No chance. There's no way he can pass up all the A.I. in here. Put Epsilon in the car and let's get moving.

**Skullak**: I'm leaving. I'm going with them.

**Washington**: What?

**Skullak**: Wash, I don't give a shit about any of this. I hate you, I hate the Freelancers, I hate everything about you guys. This isn't my fight; it's yours.

**Washington**: It's your fight more than anyone else's!

**Skullak**: I don't care what you say, no, it isn't.

**Washington**: Skullak, you'll never get another shot at fixing all of this. I know you don't believe what I've told you, but you need to ask yourself, what if I'm right? If I am, or if you have any doubts, not finding out will haunt you for the rest of your life. Not just finding out about you but, finding out about everyone close to you as well. It's your choice. What's it going to be?


	21. Chapter 19

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Chapter 18!_

**Chairman**: To the Director of Project Freelancer.

_Fade in to the electronic storage area for A.I.s._

**Chairman**: I write to inform you, that by the authority of this sub-committee, officers have been dispatched, to place you under arrest, and we expect your full co-operation. Congratulations are in order, I suppose. When they write the new morality protocols for dealing with A.I., I'm certain they will name entire sections of the doctrine after you. It seems that you will earn your place in history after all, dear Director.

_Cut to the Meta fighting the Freelancer soldiers and winning. Then cut to the main characters back in the motor pool_

**Washington**: Alright. Stick to the plan. Just run. Get Epsilon out of here. Turn it over to the authorities the first chance you get.

**Findor**: Sarge, shouldn't we help him? He won't stand a chance against that thing.

**Baraggan**: We have our orders, Findor. We have to think about the mission.

**Nirgge**: Finally an order I wanna follow. "Run away and live."

**Baraggan**: If Agent Wash wants to face him alone, that's his business.

**Findor**: Yeah but he doesn't wanna face him alone. It's just that some people won't help him.

**Baraggan**: That's not our business either.

**Washington**: Just drive. When the E.M.P. goes off-

**Di-Roy**: You mean the Emp?

**Washington**: Stop it. It will destroy Epsilon if you're not far enough away.

**Di-Roy**: You got it Mister Washington.

**Washington**: Take care of yourself guys. I know that's one thing you're good at.

_Wash hits a button and a large door opens upwards._

**Washington**: He's gonna be on you as soon as you clear the gate. Be ready to move. Protect the Blues' vehicle at any cost.

**Baraggan**: Protect the Blues, right, yeah. We'll get riiight on that shit.

_Cut to the Meta, victorious, watching the two jeeps drive a bit and stop._

_Radio sounds._

**Washington**: That's it. Lead the Meta as far away from the base as possible.

**An A.I.**: It's a trick.

**Another A.I.**: Get the A.I.

**A Third A.I.**: We need them.

**Washington**: I just hope there's enough time.

_The Meta runs toward Wash and the base._

**Findor**: He's fallen for it, gun it Nirgge!

**Nirgge**: Hold on everyone.

_Cut to Wash running through some corridors, pursued by the Meta. Wash enters a large room._

**PA Voice**: Warning. Security breach detected.

**Counselor Zommari**: Agent Washington. Good to see you again.

**Washington**: Oh, hello. Are you somewhere nearby, Counselor? Somewhere I can say hello in person?

**Counselor Zommari**: Sorry Agent Washington, but we were more than prepared for this... eventuality. I'm afraid we will not be able to see each other in person today.

**Washington**: Well then you'll excuse me if I don't stop to chat. I'm on a timetable.

**Counselor**: There is someone else here who would like to speak with you.

**Director**: Well hello, Agent Washington.

**Washington**: The Director himself, I should be honored. I should be.

**Director**: Yes, I realize it has been a while since we've spoke, Kiiro. May I call you Kiiro?

**Washington**: No, you cannot. You gave me my new name, the least you can do is use it.

**Director**: I am certain you have a lot of questions, Wash.

**Washington**: Just one: How do I turn off this speaker.

**PA Voice**: Warning. Security breach detected.

_The Meta arrives, and Wash puts up a containment field to keep him out._

**Director**: Well. The prodigal son returns. Agent Maine you've caused quite a few problems for us. You will not be leaving this time.

**Washington**: I think I've said that myself about twenty times in the last few weeks. Good luck holding him.

**Director**: You would be surprised what we are capable of, even from this distance. I suggest you work with us if you expect to survive this.

**Washington**: I'm sorry, did something about my actions indicate I expect to survive?

_Cut to the Reds and Blues barreling across the landscape._

**Baraggan**: Still about half a click to go. Step on it!

_Back to Wash._

**PA Voice**: Clearance verified. The failsafe is now online. Awaiting activation.

**Director**: How did you get those codes?

**Washington**: You might be surprised what I know, Director.

**PA Voice**: Warning, this is a last resort measure. Activating the failsafe will destroy all electronic equipment in this facility, including this terminal. Please confirm.

**Director**: It was Epsilon. He inherited the memories, didn't he.

**Washington**: I've known about what you did since the moment you implanted him in me.

**Director**: Well then I am very sorry Agent Washington, but Project Freelancer no longer has need of your services. Program, disable interior shield.

_The containment field Wash turned on turns off._

**Washington**: What?

**Director**: Agent Maine, please kill Agent Washington.

_They both draw their pistols._

**Washington**: Nah-

_The Meta shoots Wash, who falls._

**PA Voice**: Alert: incoming recovery beacon. Level zero. Immediate response necessary.

_The Meta advances on Wash, who backpedals toward the wall._

**Director**: Agent Washington I fear this is one recovery beacon you won't be responding to. Kill him Agent Maine.

**An A.I.**: Where is it?

**Another A.I.**: Where is Alpha?

**A Third A.I.**: Where is it?

**Director**: The Alpha is not here. It has been moved far away. Attend to the matter at hand.

**Counselor Zommari**: Agent Maine what the Director's trying to say, is we can discuss the Alpha later. What's important, is that you prove that you can be trusted again. We need to trust you before letting you meet the Alpha. Wouldn't you agree?

**Washington**: You know Meta, why wait? Why don't you meet him, right now?

_Skullak materializes over Wash's shoulder as an A.I._

**Skullak**: Hi there.

_The A.I.s the Meta has accumulated appear around him, with no way of knowing which is speaking._

**An A.I.**: It's him!

**Another A.I.**: Alpha!

**A Third A.I.**: Alpha!

_Cut to the Blues and Reds escaping._

**Nirgge**: Di-Roy, watch out for that rock!

_Di-Roy drives in to a big rock, spilling Skullak's body_

**Di-Roy**: Oh no. Skullak!

**Nirgge**: What the hell are you doing, why are you stopping, move!

**Di-Roy**: His body fell out.

**Nirgge**: So what!?

**Di-Roy**: He's gonna need it.

**Findor**: It's just an empty shell, now get going!

_The Reds drive off._

**Nirgge**: Di-Roy move it or we're leaving you!

_Di-Roy continues driving, and we return to Wash, Skullak, and Meta._

**Skullak**: You know I can see why you didn't want anyone else in your head. Got some pretty heavy stuff going on there. I think you need to talk to a professional.

**Washington**: That's too bad. I just lost my job, and we have great mental health coverage.

**Skullak**: How much time do you need?

**Washington**: Whatever you can get me. When the E.M.P. goes off-

**Skullak**: When it goes off, I'll be fine. It only affects computers, remember? And I, am a mother fuckin' ghost.

_Skullak enters the Meta, and all other A.I.s follow him in._

**Director**: What's goin' on!?

**Counselor Zommari**: Agent Washington, please, there is time. If you would just secure Agent Maine we can discuss this situation, in a more civilized manner.

**Washington**: No, we can't.

_Wash punches the button._

**PA Voice**: Thank you, failsafe initiated. Activating Emp.

**Washington**: Emp? You have got to be fucking ki-

_The E.M.P. goes off, we see the A.I. storage facility go dark, followed by the briefing room from Chapter 1, the jeeps in the motor pool crackling and sizzling, and finally outside to the edge of the compound._

_Cut to Di-Roy and the Reds escaping._

**Findor**: Here comes the pulse, don't stop!

_The E.M.P. shuts down the Reds' Warthog._

**Nirgge**: Ah, shit, it stalled!

**Baraggan**: Go go go!

**Nirgge**: Get Epsilon out of here, don't worry about us!

**Di-Roy**: Okay! I'm scared!

_Di-Roy plows past some sawhorses._

**Findor**: Watch where you're going!

**Nirgge**: No!

**Di-Roy**: Nnyaaaaaaaa-

_Di-roy drives off a cliff overlooking a river, and we fade to black._

**Director**: Dear Chairman.

_Fade in to a stream in the middle of the Valhalla canyon._

**Director**: I am disappointed by your decision to press charges, but I am not surprised. My only hope is that the courts will see the matters differently than you have. You see, I never had the chance to serve in battle, nor did fate provide me the opportunity to sacrifice myself for humanity as it did for so many others in the Great War. Someone extremely dear to me was lost very early in my life. My mind has always plagued me with the question, if the choice had been placed in my hands, could I have saved her? The memory of her, has haunted me my entire life, and moreso in these last few years than I could ever have imagined. But given the events of these past few weeks, I feel confident that had I been given the chance, I would have made those sacrifices myself. Had I only the chance.

_Cut to the Reds in front of their jeep._

**Baraggan**: Men, I just got word from our new Command. They said that thanks to our brave efforts in bringing Project Freelancer to justice, we can have full use of these former bases to continue our training exercises, until such time as they need them for more official purposes. Whatever the hell that means.

**Findor**: Wow, that's great news Sir.

**Baraggan**: We even got a shiny new jeep. Courtesy of the UNSC.

**Nirgge**: Yeah, but Sarge, what the hell is, uh, shotgun, by the way.

**Findor**: Shotgun- fuck!

**Nirgge**: What the hell is the UNSC?

**Baraggan**: Dunno, never heard of it. Sounds made up.

_While the Director talks we cruise back up the river towards the other base._

**Director**: I know that you disagreed with my methods, and that others will as well. This is beyond my control. However, I cannot imagine that any court, would be able to convict me, no matter how low their opinion of my actions might be. You must understand one basic fact for all this to make sense my dear Chairman. These A.I., they all come from somewhere; they are all based on a person. Our Alpha, was no exception. And while the law has many penalties for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors that we inflict on ourselves. So you send your men. They won't find themselves a fight. They'll only find an old man. An old man tired, but satisfied he did his duty. An old man weary from a mind more filled with memory, than it is with hope.

_We enter the base and find Di-Roy there, crouching over the A.I and Tex's body._

**Di-Roy**: Okay. Time to see if this works.

**Director**: Sincerely yours, the former director of Project Freelancer, Doctor Skullak Tuma.

**Anyway this is the end of** **Reconstruction, but the series will continue. Also learn who characters are. First Washington is played by my friend Bladed Raptor OC Kiiro. I would also like to thank him for letting my use him too, while please check out his Bleach stories too, since their very great. Also the Director is the REAL Skullak Tuma most of his past and back story will come along later. So all please review and tell me what you thing? **


	22. Relocated

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Relocated!_

**Nirgge**: I'm tellin' you, this is a whole new world for us. New bases, new armor; it's a fresh start.

**Findor**: Then, why the fuck are we having the same conversations?

**Nirgge**: Just think, you know how people say, "If I knew then what I knew now?" Well, that person is you, and you already know it. And the "then" is right now.

**Findor**: What?

**Nirgge**: Don't you regret anything from our last assignment? Like all your mistakes?

**Findor**: I didn't make mistakes, you made mistakes.

**Nirgge**: Exactly. You set too high of a bar, and that made it harder for the rest of us.

**Findor**: There is no "rest of us," there's just you, and you suck. The bar has nothing to do with it. If the bar was set any lower, you'd just hit your fucking head on it. Or accidentally eat it.

**Nirgge**: You need to loosen up. We got a good thing going here. I mean, this is an easy gig. We need to make the most of it. You should question authority every now-and-then.

**Findor**: _(stutters) _I question authority.

**Nirgge**: Asking Sarge, "Can we have more work?" is not questioning authority.

**Findor**: Well, Nirgge, technically that is a question.

**Nirgge**: Stop it.

**Findor**: Besides, all you ever do is waste time.

**Nirgge**: Waste time? I make time. Every second Sarge spends arguing with me is every second I don't have to do something stupid like clean our guns or whatever it is he's ever making you do.

**Findor**: You dumbass! We have to maintain our equipment. Otherwise...

_A small explosion occurs under the warthog that Baraggan is working on._

**Baraggan**: _(grunts) _Son of a bitch!

**Nirgge**: See? That should keep him busy for at least...

**Baraggan**: Findor! Nirgge! Front and center!

**Nirgge**: Dammit.

**Findor**: Nice plan, jackass. Clearly, it's working flawlessly.

**Baraggan**: Hustle up, idiots!

_Moves to blue base, where Di-Roy is involved in an unknown activity._

_Returns to red base._

**Baraggan**: Men, we've got a situation on our hands here.

**Nirgge**: Sarge, why do you always call us over when you want to talk to us?

**Baraggan**: What? You want me to write you a letter?

**Nirgge**: No. I mean there's two of us. Wouldn't it be more efficient for you to come to us? Instead, we always have to-

**Baraggan**: Shut up, Nirgge.

**Nirgge**: See, I just bought us ten more seconds before he can give us something to do.

**Baraggan**: Nirgge, can it!

**Nirgge**: Five more seconds.

**Findor**: Shut up!

**Nirgge**: ...Two more.

**Baraggan**: We've got a problem, men. I'm trying to upgrade the warthog's weapons system.

**Findor**: The weapons system?

**Baraggan**: Yes, as you'll recall, on our last mission, we encountered that magnetic pulse thingy. So, I thought we could upgrade the warthog to use that technology for a fancy new gun.

**Findor**: You mean the pulse that knocked out our car and made it stall? That technology?

**Baraggan**: Yes.

**Findor**: You want to add that to the car and activate it on a regular basis?

**Baraggan**: Mhm.

**Findor**: Specifically in battle?

**Baraggan**: Bingo-bango.

**Findor**: And you're sure that's a good idea.

**Baraggan**: Why wouldn't it be?

**Nirgge**: Don't listen to him, sir. I think it's brilliant. The enemy'll never see it coming.

**Findor**: That's because it won't be coming! It'll be shutting down every time we fire our primary weapon!

**Nirgge**: Like I said, brilliant.

**Baraggan**: The problem is that we still don't have the power online in the base.

**Findor**: Right.

**Baraggan**: So, I'm forced to use only my hand tools. I can't get anything done like this.

**Findor**: You want us to get the generators running so that you can use your power tools?

**Baraggan**: No! So I can use the radio to call Lopez. Have him come do it for me.

**Nirgge**: Nice. Wait, our radios work.

**Findor**: Not our helmet radios, dumbass. The long-range ones. The people who were here before us disabled them all.

**Baraggan**: It seems to me, the blue base is online. We need to get someone over there to see how they did it. Findor, it'll be you.

**Findor**: Why me?

**Baraggan**: I don't think Nirgge could possibly figure out how electricity works. I'm not even certain he knows what it is.

**Nirgge**: The man's right. I have no idea.

**Findor**: _(sighs) _Whatever.

**Nirgge**: No, seriously, I have no idea. I always thought it was some kind of invisible magic.

**Findor**: Shut up.

_Findor leaves._

**Baraggan**: Oh, and see if you can figure out what they've been up to over there. They've been pretty quite lately.

**Findor**: Fine.

**Nirgge**: Okay, great. Now that he's gone, how about we enjoy some "us time." Kick back, make some margaritas.

**Baraggan**: Nirgge, I need you up on top of the base. See if you can figure out why ours isn't firing that blue bolt-a-ma-jiggy.

**Nirgge**: (gulps) You mean, up there by that airlift and the flag?

**Baraggan**: No, I mean on top.

**Nirgge**: Um, do we have a ladder?

**Baraggan**: Oh, sure, an eight-hundred-foot ladder? Of course not, you idiot! Now get to shimmyin'.

_Findor running up a cliff to look at Blue Base._

_Radio sounds._

**Findor**: Come in, Sarge, come in.

_Zooms in on Findor and fades in to his HUD point of view._

**Findor**: I can see Blue Base but there's no one around. There's some kind of light and it looks like somebody's working on somethin'. I'll have a look closer and see if I can find anyone but I don't think that there-

_Di-Roy pops up into Findor's view._

**Di-Roy**: Hello!

**Findor**: Jesus! Don't do that!

**Caboose**: Hey Findor. Uh, were you guys coming to attack me? Uh, because I'm kinda busy right now. Do you think you could attack me later maybe like uh, like next week?

**Findor**: We're not attacking you, I'm just coming over to spy on you.

**Di-Roy**: Oh, awesome.

**Findor**: And figure out how you got your power turned on.

**Di-Roy**: Oh, you mean the invisible magic, yeah. Uh, you know it was already on when I got here. Very convenient.

**Findor**: And I'm also trying to figure out what you're doing.

**Di-Roy**: Doing? Nothing. There's no reason to do anything. Why would I be doing something? I wouldn't, that's why. So I'm not.

**Findor**: If you're not doing anything then why are you too busy?

**Di-Roy**: What?

**Findor**: You just said we couldn't attack you right now because you were too busy.

**Di-Roy**: ...I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

**Findor**: Why? You_are_doing something, aren't you?

**Di-Roy**: Ah- Simmons, stop being nosy. Do you want to lose all your spying privileges?

_Cut to Baraggan yelling up at Nirgge, who's climbing the tower on top of Red Base._

**Baraggan**: Come on, Nirgge! Hurry it up!

**Nirgge**: Hey, don't rush me! This is high! Shouldn't I have on safety gear or something?

**Baraggan**: You have armor, numb nuts! That's like having a helmet for your whole body. So stop complaining.

**Nirgge**: No, I mean, shouldn't there be like a safety rope, or at least some railings?

**Baraggan**: Nirgge, use yer head! If we had a rope tied up there already, you could just climb up the rope! Stop askin' dumb questions.

_Findor returns._

**Findor**: Hey, Sarge.

**Baraggan**: Findor, what did you find out?

**Findor**: Well, I know their base isn't running on brain power.

**Baraggan**: Excellent, that means Nirgge can still be used as fuel once we get the generators turned on.

**Findor**: Di-Roy has no idea how their power works. He said it was already on when he got there.

**Baraggan**: Huh, favoritism. Command always did like them best.

**Findor**: He said he'd run us an extension cord if we could find one long enough.

**Baraggan**: No way, not falling for that.

**Findor**: Ha, I had a feeling you wouldn't.

**Baraggan**: He'd choose just the right moment to cut us off from a valuable resource!

**Findor**: A resource we don't even have access to to begin with!

**Baraggan**: That's exactly right. He wants to soften us up, and then yank the carpet out from under our feet! No way. Besides, Nirgge's on his way to figuring out this problem as we speak. Heh heh.

**Findor**: Where is he, anyway?

**Baraggan**: Up there.

**Findor**: Wh-what? What's he doing up there?

**Nirgge**: Help me Findoooor!

**Baraggan**: I think that blue bolt has something to do with the power and ours isn't working.

**Nirgge**: Jesus Chrihihihist!

**Findor**: So why didn't you climb up there?

**Baraggan**: Me? Afraid of heights. I mean allergic.

**Nirgge**: Everyone's afraid of heights!

**Findor**: You have a fear of heights? Didn't you used to jump out of ships in high orbit during the war?

**Baraggan**: And how do you think I developed that fear? That shit was crazy.

**Nirgge**: There's a bird up here fucking with me!

**Baraggan**: Quit makin' friends and get up there!

**Nirgge**: Shoo, shoo!

**Findor**: Sarge, why didn't you just let him use the ladder?

_Cuts to an extremely tall ladder next to a cliff._

**Sarge**: Oh right. I guess we didn't see that before he started up. My bad.

**Nirgge**: Goddammit!

_Cuts over to Di-Roy watching Findor and Baraggan._

**Findor**: How could you miss something that big?

**Baraggan**: Well, what can I say, Findor. I guess you're a bit more observant than the rest of us.

**Findor**: No kidding.

_Di-Roy then starts moving down towards a downed ship._

_Moves up to Nirgge on top of the base's giant spike_

**Nirgge**: Okay, I made it! I'm at the top!

**Baraggan**: Whaddaya see?

**Nirgge**: What!?

**Baraggan**: What do you see?

**Nirgge**: What do I see!? I see everything! Because I'm at the top of the fucking world!

**Baraggan**: Can you see the port where to bolt comes out?

**Nirgge**: Yeah, it's right here! But I think it's blocked!

**Baraggan**: What?

**Nirgge**: It's blocked!

**Baraggan**: What's blocking it?

**Nirgge**: It looks like a bunch of pieces of a ship.

**Baraggan**: ... That's disgusting. Who would climb all that way up there just to do that?

**Nirgge**: I said ship-puh!

**Baraggan**: Oh right.

**Findor**: What kind of ship is it?

**Nirgge**: How the fuck should I know? It's in a million pieces! What difference does it make?

**Findor**: Sorry! I'm just naturally curious.

**Nirgge**: I'm gonna spit on you Findor!

**Baraggan**: What do you think, Findor?

**Findor**: Mm, it's really hard to say without seeing it, but I guess he could try to clear the blockage. I'm a little concerned though. If he clears it and that bolt goes off, it could kill him.

**Baraggan**: That's an excellent thought. And what was the concern you said you had?

**Findor**: (_sigh_s) Nothing Sir.

**Baraggan**: Alright then, let's get crackin'. Kill two birds with one stone. But I'd settle for one bird and a Nirgge. Heh heh.

_Bird caw._

**Nirgge**: I said shoo! You stupid fucking bird!

_Tilt up to Nirgge on top of New Red Base._

**Baraggan**: Nirgge, we're gonna need you to clear that blockage.

**Nirgge**: How? These pieces are huge! How am I supposed to lift them?

**Baraggan**: Well, they say people in emotional situations can sometimes get super-human strength.

**Nirgge**: Yeah? Well, what about people in situations where they really don't give a fuck? What kind of powers do they get?

**Baraggan**: Nirgge!

**Findor**: If you can't lift it, just try clearing it with a grenade.

**Nirgge**: Um, is that safe?

**Findor**: None of this is safe. You're gonna start analyzing now?

**Baraggan**: Here, Nirgge, take one of mine.

_Baraggan throws a grenade at Nirgge and misses. The grenade explodes._

**Findor**: Sarge, you pulled the pin out.

**Baraggan**: Of course I did. Who throws a grenade with the pin still in? Hey, Nirgge, catch this one.

_Baraggan throws another grenade at Nirgge and misses._

**Nirgge**: No! I'm not catching those.

**Baraggan**: Dammit, I can't reach.

_The grenade rolls down the side of the base and explodes close to Baraggan and Findor._

**Findor**: Aah! Cut it out!

**Nirgge**: Yeah! Let me get back to work up here.

_A rocket flies past Nirgge._

**Baraggan**: Did ya' catch that one?

**Nirgge**: Okay, here we go. (Throws grenade) Oh shit! Where do I go when the grenade is...

_An enormous explosion throws Nirgge into the air. Debris rains down on Findor and Baraggan._

**Findor**: Oh no, he's falling.

**Baraggan**: I see that!

**Findor**: Should we try to catch him?

**Baraggan**: Catch him? Hell no. He'll crush us.

**Findor**: What do we do?

**Baraggan**: I got a good idea. Let's act like we're gonna catch him, then we don't. It's a win-win.

**Findor**: You used to jump out of ships. Give him some advice!

**Baraggan**: Oh, right. Nirgge, you should never join that unit! The pay is terrible and the officer is totally disorganized!

**Findor**: Advice on how to land!

**Baraggan**: Oh, right. Nirgge, what you wanna do is...

_After an incredible amount of screaming, Nirgge hits the ground. Regardless, Baraggan continues to talk._

**Baraggan**: ...Try to tuck and roll at the last second. That will transfer your momentum to inertia, and invert your ker-splat probability.

**Findor**: Hey, Sarge?

**Baraggan**: Yeah?

**Findor**: I think he's down already.

**Baraggan**: Oh, right.

**Nirgge**: Owwww...

**Baraggan**: (laughs) Findor, you are observant!

_Cut to Di-Roy sneaking around the downed Pelican._

**Di-Roy**: There you are.

_Cut back to the Reds._

**Baraggan**: Hot ham and cheese, the power's back on.

**Findor**: Um, I think Nirgge is broken, Sir.

**Baraggan**: Sad. I always thought I would be the cause of Nirgge's death. Ah well fuck it.

**Findor**: Yeah, fuck it.

**Baraggan**: Let's call Dorodni, and tell him we've got power. Robots love that stuff.

**Findor**: And oil.

**Baraggan**: Stop helping me.

_Radio sounds._

**Baraggan**: Come in Dordoni, señor Dordoni, come in. This is Sergeant-

**Dordoni**: Hola. Esta es Barranco de la Sangre. Discurso de Dorodni. (_Hello? This is Blood Gulch Canyon, Dordoni speaking.)_

**Baraggan**: Dorodni, it's Sarge. Que paso. Whatya doin'? ...Dordoni?

**Dordoni**: Uh, Me disculpo, no puedo utilizar el teléfono. Deja por favor un mensaje... (_Uhhh... Sorry I couldn't come to the phone. Please leave me a message and I'll.._.)

**Baraggan**: Eh, heh heh. Dordoni, you old kidder. Cut it out.

**Dordoni**: ...le llamaré des tras. (_...call you back as soon as I am able.)_

**Baraggan**: Haha, seriously program, disable lying mode voice verification Bravo niner.

**Dordoni**: Commando acceptado. (_COMMAND ACCEPTED...)_

**Dordoni**: ¿Qué usted tiene? (_OK. What do you want?)_

**Baraggan**: I need you at the new base on the double.

**Dordoni**: ¿Por qué? (_Why?)_

**Baraggan**: We got power. Need your help building something awesome. You busy?

**Dordoni**: No. Acabo de matar a esa muchacha encima a la Base Azul. (_Actually. Not really. I just killed that girl over at Blue Base. So I'm all wrapped up here.)_

**Dordoni**: Ganamos a propósito. (_We won by the way.)_

**Baraggan**: Great! Hey Findor, we won Blood Gulch.

**Findor**: Oh, cool. Suck it Blue.

**Baraggan**: Oh, and tell Nirgge his sister's dead.

**Findor**: Yes sir! Wait, what?

**Dordoni**: OK. Estoy viniendo. (_OK I guess I can be right there.)_

**Baraggan**: Great, we'll see you soon. I'll forward you some blueprints of what we've been workin' on.

_Nirgge wakes up and moans._

**Nirgge**: (_weakly_) What happened?

**Baraggan**: Nirgge, you're awake, good. Dordoni is coming here, I need you to stay out of the way.

**Nirgge**: Uh, can do.

**Baraggan**: Findor, you check the base, make sure everything is online. Dordoni is going to need all the power he can get.

**Findor**: On it sir.

**Baraggan**: Dordoni, you get in the base, start workin' on the plans I sent you.

**Dordoni**: Sí.

**Findor**: Wow, he got here fast!

**Baraggan**: Oh and uh, Nirgge, one more thing. You might wanna sit down.

**Nirgge**: I can't sit, I think both my kneecaps are shattered.

**Baraggan**: Oh, well in that case, Findor, you'd better be prepared to catch him. He'll probably faint when I tell him his sister's dead.

**Nirgge**: My sister is dead?

**Baraggan**: Oh, you already know! Good. I was worried 'bout how to break the news to you. That could've been awkward.

**Nirgge**: No way. Not true.

**Baraggan**: Dordoni told us himself.

**Nirgge**: Yeah right.

**Findor**: You don't believe it?

**Nirgge**: I'll tell you what, you produce a corpse, I'll believe it.

**Findor**: Huh?

**Nirgge**: Listen, once when we were kids, we went ice skating, and she fell through the ice. She was under there for three hours, and when they pulled her out, not only was she still alive, she was pregnant. If you can explain that to me, I'll believe you when you tell me she's dead.

**Baraggan**: Hhhh, I wouldn't even know how to-

**Dordoni**: Hecho. (_Done.)_

**Baraggan**: Hot damn, Dordoni is done already. Did you finish the-

**Dordoni**: Sí. (_Yes.)_

**Baraggan**: Well what about the-

**Dordoni**: Sí. (_Yes_.)

**Baraggan**: And also the-

**Dordoni**: Me hacen. Esa significa que hice todo. (_I am done. That means I did everything.)_

**Baraggan**: Caliente daminito, let's go check it out.

**Dordoni**: Está aqui. (_It's over here.)_

_They enter an elevator which will prove to take quite a while to get where it's going._

**Dordoni**: Prensa abajo (_Just hit the down button.)_

**Nirgge**: You installed an elevator?

**Dordoni**: Por supuesto. Introduzco su código. Ponga su mano allí. Dé vuelta a esa rueda. (_Of course. Now enter your personalized key code. Put your hand on the scanner. Now turn that crank.)_

**Baraggan**: Which one, this one?

**Dordoni**: No. La rueda media. (_No. The third one down. Fifth one over.)_

**Baraggan**: Ah, okay.

**Nirgge**: How did he build all of this?

**Baraggan**: I told ya, he just needed power tools.

**Dordoni**: Prense su botón cuando empujo los míos. (_Now, push your button when I push mine.)_

**Baraggan**: At the same time?

**Dordoni**: Sí. (_Yes.)_

**Baraggan**: You wanna do it like on three or like, three and then go?

**Dordoni**: ¡Apenas agarro! (_**Just push it!)**_

**Baraggan**: Okay.

**Dordoni**: Esto es el. (_Here we are.)_

_They exit the elevator and walk to a large empty room._

**Nirgge**: What the fuck?

**Findor**: What the hell is all this?

**Baraggan**: As you know, I've been working on developing a new version of our Warthog. So I had Lopez here build an underground holographically powered simulation room. This is going to allow us, to test the final concepts of my car design. Now check it.

_A blue grid appears on the floor, then a Warthog appears above it, and then the grid disappears._

**Nirgge**: Okay. Now that was pretty cool.

**Baraggan**: Thank you.

**Findor**: Hey wait a second, so you built an entire chamber, capable of running holographic simulations, rather than just build the car itself? That doesn't seem very efficient to me.

**Baraggan**: Findor, sometimes you just gotta go for style points. Hoo-ah.

_Baraggan drives up in jeep, gets out._

**Baraggan**: Now this is more like it! Great job on the simulator, Dordoni; Good work on the power, Findor.

**Findor**: Thank you, sir!

**Nirgge**: Findor?! I'm the one that was almost killed just so you could get the electricity back on.

**Baraggan**: Yep, but it was worth it.

**Nirgge**: You say that every time I'm almost killed.

_Flashback to Halo: CE Baraggan, Findor runs up._

**Findor**: Sarge! Nirgge was spying on the blues and they captured him!

**Baraggan**: What'd he find out? Are they planning something?

**Findor**: No, they were standing around talking, like always. But now they're gonna kill him!

**Baraggan**: Well, it was worth it.

_Flash to Halo 2 Baraggan and Findor talking_

**Baraggan**: The base looks so clean Findor! Excellent work.

**Findor**: Yeah, too bad Nirgge was almost killed by his allergic reaction to the cleaning supplies.

_Pan to Nirgge laying pool of blood_

**Baraggan**: It was worth it!

_Flash to Baraggan and Findor standing, with Nirgge on floor between them and on fire._

**Baraggan**: Worth it.

_Flash to present._

**Baraggan**: Only because it's always true. There's very few tasks that wouldn't balance out by you making the ultimate sacrifice.

**Findor**: At least this time we got something out of it. We got power, and a new weapon!

**Baraggan**: Let's test this bad boy out.

_Baraggan mounts turret of Warthog, points at Nirgge._

**Nirgge**: Whoa, wait a second. Does this hologram jeep shoot hologram slugs, or real slugs?

**Baraggan**: As long as we are in this room, everything will seem real to us. It's all simulated, but your mind makes it real.

**Findor**: Ooh, like the Matrix!

**Dordoni**: Si, sin toda la filosofía del esde. (_Right, but without all the Eastern philosophy stuff that no one understands.)_

**Nirgge**: Alright, fuck this. I'm going to stand over there.

**Baraggan**: Guess what, dirtbag? I don't need you for target practice anymore. I've got my own holo-Grif programed into the system already.

_Dordoni makes a holo-Nirgge._

**Holo-****Nirgge**: Hello! I am literally the worst program ever made!

**Findor**: Sounds like someone hasn't used Google Chrome...

**Baraggan**: Locked and loaded, ready to fire at the bloated. Nirgge... I mean fake Nirgge... go stand over there.

**Holo-****Nirgge**: Cool. Whatever.

_Holo-Nirgge runs to center of room._

**Baraggan**: This is a magnetized propulsion system. It can fire massive slugs at an outrageous velocity! Check it out.

_Baraggan fires, killing holo-Nirgge and stalling out the Warthog's engine._

**Holo-****Nirgge**: _(flying as corpse)_ Blarg! I deserve it!

_Another figure is seen, standing where holo-Nirgge was._

**Baraggan**: Heh heh. See? How awesome is that?

**Findor**: Wow!

**Baraggan**: And in 10 short seconds, it will be ready to fire again.

**Findor**: That's incredible. Wait a minute.

**Baraggan**: Dordoni, spawn me another holo-Nirgge on the pronto.

**Dordoni**: Si

**Nirgge**: Did you guys see that?

**Baraggan**: Shut up real-Nirgge! We're doing important research over here! Hey Findor, check this out: I'm gonna shoot the next one in the hoo-hoo.

_Another Nirgge spawns._

**Holo-****Nirgge**: Oh, hey guys. What's goin-

_Baraggan fires._

_Cut to Blue base. Di-Roy amid bits of equipment._

**Di-Roy**:_(Creepily)_ Finally we're all here. Now we can be together... forever.

_Cut back to Red holo-room. A holo-Nirgge dies, adding to a pile of dead holo-Nirgge._

**Baraggan**: Alright. Dordoni, another holo-Nirgge.

**Dordoni**: Esta cosa hase outras blancos._ (This thing makes other targets you know...)_

**Baraggan**: Bah, let's stick with the fundamentals.

_Stalled jeep restarts._

**Findor**: OK, Sarge. Do you mean to tell me this thing fires once every 10 seconds?

**Baraggan**: Yep. It's state of the art.

_Another holo-Nirgge spawns._

**Holo-****Nirgge**: Let's get this over with...

**Findor**: But our last weapon fired 10,000 rounds per second.

**Baraggan**: If my math is right, and I think it is, that seems like more than this one.

**Findor**: Yes, it is.

**Baraggan**: How much more would you say?

**Findor**: Well, the chaingun was 10,000 rounds per second, and this would be 0.1 of a round per second. So yeah, it was.

_Baraggan fires again, killing holo-Nirgge and stalling jeep once more. Nirrge sees figure._

**Baraggan**: It does seem to be lacking in the rapid fire department.

**Nirgge**: I know I'm not crazy. I just saw something move.

**Baraggan**: Oh well, a good craftsmen never blames his tools.

**Findor**: But, we made the tool in this case. Can we blame the craftsman?

**Baraggan**: No, Findor. You and the gun are just going to to have to agree to disagree.

_Five holo-Nirgge spawn, in a line._

**Findor**: Let me take a look. Maybe I can increase the rate of fire. _(mounts jeep and drives off)_

**Baraggan**: And maybe Dordoni can find a way to spawn Nirgge faster.

**Dordoni**: Hase outras blancos! (_It makes other things!)_

**Nirgge**: Guys, seriously. I know I saw something. _(approaches line of holo-Nirgge)_ Aha! See? This one is weird. It's all lightish-red instead of orange.

**Baraggan**: _(not looking)_ No Nirgge, I'm sure it isn't.

**Findor**: You're probably still hallucinating from the charge you took.

**Nirgge**: Yeah, I don't think so. Look!

**Baraggan**: Nirgge, we are busy! You and Charlotte shut up and stop distracting us.

**Nirgge**: But I... Charlotte?!

**Charlotte**: Water...

**Nirgge**: Eeyah! Charlotte?!

**Findor**: Charlotte?

**Nirgge**: Where the hell did you come from?

**Charlotte**: Water...

**Nirgge**: You came from the water?

**Charlotte**: Water! _(collapses)_

**Nirgge**: I didn't even know you would swim

**Charlotte**: Nirgge! He needs help! It's under... the sand... find him.

**Nirgge**: Oh boy. That sounds like something that's gonna keep us busy for a few months.

_Baraggan and Findor approach._

**Baraggan**: Holy mamma mia. Charlotte! Where's he been?

**Findor**: Charlotte! Nirgge, what did he say?

**Nirgge**: Hm? Who, him? Oh, uh, he just said he wanted some water.

**Findor**: That's it?

**Nirgge**: Yeah, uh, just the water thing, uh, oh! Also that he really missed everyone.

**Baraggan**: Why don't I believe you?

**Nirgge**: Um, he also said that he liked the new jeep.

**Baraggan**: Hot damn! I always knew that kid had style.


	23. Recreation

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Recreation!_

**Outpost 17-B: "Valhalla"** **Post-War: Year 1.25**

**Di-Roy**: Oh, no, no don't.

_Explosion rings out._

**Di-Roy**: Ahhhh... crap.

**Findor**: Hum. I need to tell Sarge about this.

_Radio cuts on._

**Findor**: Sarge, come in this is Findor.

_Over Radio._

**Baraggan**: Nirgge I do not want to discuss this anymore. You need to shower on a regular basis, its regulation.

**Findor**: Sarge, hey Sarge...

_Over Radio._

**Grif**: Why? Our suits are ventilated, they push out the stink.

**Findor**: Nirgge, Hello... God damn it...

_Over Radio._

**Baraggan**: You're just gonna give away our position with those green wavy lines coming off you.

**Grif**: OK, I'll shower... occasionally.

**Baraggan**: Every day.

**Nirgge**: Every day. How can I tell how long a day is, the sun never sets around here. Why the hell doesn't the sun set? Shouldn't we be talking about that first?

_At red base._

**Baraggan**: Findor, how'd the latest reconnaissance mission go?

**Findor**: Sarge, I have some really exciting news. I just think everyone is going to find this very, very exciting.

**Baraggan**: Well spit it out.

**Findor**: The Blues... are completely undermanned right now.

**Baraggan**: What do you mean by "undermanned"?

**Nirgge**: What do you mean by exciting?

**Findor**: It looks like they have received no reinforcements after the last mission. I need to double check my numbers, but if it's just Di-Roy over there, that means we have a 4 man advantage.

**Nirgge**: Ooo... What part do you need to double check? Is it the part where you counted their guys or the part where you counted our guys, cause they both sound really tough.

**Findor**: Shut up Nirgge, no ones talking to you.

**Baraggan**: Hmm... This could be strategically advantageous.

**Nirgge**: Or maybe it was the part where you subtracted 1 from 5. Math can be hard, Hey Dordoni!

**Dordoni**: Si

**Nirgge**: Fire up your calculator unit, we got a doozy!

**Dordoni**: (Grumbles)

**Baraggan**: He can't do that, I had to remove that application in order to install a new free app I downloaded. It's a program that could be vital to the morale here at our new base.

**Dordoni**: (Spanish) It makes fart noises.

**Baraggan**: He he, I don't want to spoil it for you boys, but let's just say it is hilarious.

**Dordoni**: (Spanish) Let's just say you're an idiot.

**Nirgge**: Actually, you do need to recount. We don't have five guys we only have four.

**Findor**: We got Charlotte back.

**Nirgge**: You can't count Charlotte.

**Findor**: Why not? He's unconscious right now, but when he wakes up...

**Nirgge**: Unconscious? He's been out for three days. I think it's okay to upgrade him to comatose.

**Findor**: Well, I think we should count everyone. I'm an equal opportunity counter.

**Nirgge**: Yeah, because I'd hate to go into battle without Charlotte.

**Findor**: I mean hell, if I'm counting you as a soldier, I should count the vehicles, some of the bigger rocks we have laying around here, fuck it let's give the trash can a gun.

**Nirgge**: At least I can subtract five and one without double-checking.

_In distance, Skullak appears holding a sniper, overlooking the Reds_

**Findor**: Oh, can you?

**Skullak**: Uhh, great. I'm sure this will all end well. I just can't believe that those idiots are responsible for my death. Twice! It's embarrassing is what it is.

_At Blue Base, flames are seen from the inside._

**Di-Roy**: Oh no fire, that's bad. Bad fire! Bad fire go away.

_Back with Skullak._

**Skullak**: I mean if I was killed by an alien or a monster, or you know some kind of sorority blow job massacre, that I could handle.

**Di-Roy**: Please stop burning, Nothing else burn.

**Skullak**: And look at this, this is my legacy. I mean what did I do with my life to deserve this.

**Di-Roy**: I mean it.

_TexAppears Behind Skullak._

**Skullak**: Uhh, this is it's all gone so wrong.

**Tex**: Well, what are you gonna do about it Skullak?

**Skullak**: Do? What can I do Tex? I'm dead, I'm gone.

**Tex**: Oh come on Skullak. They say you're never completely dead if someone still remembers you.

**Skullak**: Y-Y-yeah. But look who's left to remember me. Him?

_Di-Roy runs out of base, on fire._

**Di-Roy**: Oh God, now I'm burning. That's much worse then other things burning!

**Skullak**: Sure feels like being dead. Like all the way dead. Like somebody encased me in cement and then fired me into the sun dead.

**Di-Roy**: Oh god, why does it keep chasing me?

_Di-Roy falls into the river, the fire is extinguished._

**Di-Roy**: Ahh... that's nice.

**Skullak**: It's just a long way back for us.

**Tex**: Ok, so then we're done?

**Di-Roy**: Ok let's try that again. But with less fire on me this time.

**Skullak**: No, no we're not done.

**Tex**: Well if we're not done, let's get started.

**Skullak**: Hey have I ever told you how helpful you are to me? I mean you're so full of fucking wisdom, what would I do without you?

**Tex**: I try my best... And you have no one to blame but yourself.


	24. Ep 1

_**RVB Arrancars Meta Arc**_

_Don't Get Me Started!_

**Baraggan:** Attention: Blue Team! This is the Red Team! We are here to destroy you! Your long reign of being the shittiest team around is about to come to the sudden and cataclysmic end! We will give you a few moments to suck in the horrors of this announcement! And then return for your reaction. Be right back!

_Baraggan backs down towards Red Base,_ _where Findor and Nirgge are standing._

**Baraggan****:** Hehe. Alright, that oughta scare the bejeebus out of them!

**Findor:** Actually, sir. Since it's just one of them over there—

**Nirgge:** And the one is an idiot.

**Findor****:** —I don't really see the point in psychological warfare.

**Baraggan****:** You're right, Findor. It's not really accurate to refer to one-person as a team. What's better? Blue Person? Blue Man? Bluetonian?

**Findor****:** What I meant was—

**Baraggan****:** Bluetard!

**Findor****:** …What I meant was, I don't see the point in announcing to him that we're gonna attack. Why don't we just do it?

**Baraggan****:** There's an order to this, Findor. We can't abandon protocol just because we have an advantage! We have to give him a chance to see the errors of his Blue ways! To lay down his arms and meet his fellow men at the table of peace, where we can work together towards a better world. A world that's better, because we poisoned his food at that table, and stabbed him in the eye with a fork. And taken all his stuff.

**Findor****:** … Dibs on the computers.

**Baraggan****:** Noted. Now watch that base. Tell me if anything changes.

**Findor****:** Yes, sir! And sir?

**Baraggan****:** Yes, Findor?

**Findor****:** I just wanna say, I'm glad I was here to see you on your day of victory. It's been a long time coming.

**Baraggan****:** Yes it has, hasn't it? My skills as a leader have really taken us far. It must've been quite an honor to serve with me. (_pause_) Ah… okay. Glad we had this talk.

**Findor****:** _[hopeful]_ Are you glad I'm here too, Sarge?

**Baraggan****:** Of course I am.

**Findor****:** I knew it! I just could—

**Baraggan****:** The squad's kill-death ratio is the most important measurement when evaluating sergeants! If you had died, that would've hurt my numbers.

**Findor****:** (_sniffs; walks off_)_ [dejectedly]_ Glad I could help!

**Baraggan****:** It's better to keep a little padding in our stats! That way if we're far enough ahead, I can stab Grif in the face, and still stay in the lead.

**Nirgge****:** You know, I'm standing right here.

**Baraggan****:** Right where I want you! Within face-stabbing range.

_A radio sounds._

**Baraggan****:** Dordoni, how are those vehicle repairs coming?

**Dordoni:** _Coming? The jeep is destroyed. It can't be fixed._

**Baraggan****:** Got an ETA?

**Dordoni****:** _Yes. Never._

**Baraggan****:** As long as they get it ASAP! Cuz I need a PDQ!

**Dordoni****:** _In that case, never minus one._

**Baraggan****:** Dordoni, you're a regular RFR—Really Fast Robot. Nirgge! Make a note in the acronym journal. Findor! Status report!

**Findor****:** (_watching over the Blue Base_) Still just one Blue, sir.

**Baraggan****:** Dordoni! Status report!

**Dordoni****:** _You already talked to me, jackass!_

**Baraggan****:** (_runs back to the hill_) Hey, Blue! Don't think we've forgotten about ya! Still gonna kill ya any second! (_heads back towards his base_) Count on it!

**Nirgge****:** Sarge, have you thought this invasion all the way through?

**Baraggan****:** Of course I have! We beat the Blues; we win, you suck. That's all the way through.

_Findor returns as well._

**Nirgge****:** Uh, and who do we fight then?

**Baraggan****:** We fight… with other Blues!

**Nirgge****:** But what if no more Blues come? I mean they haven't sent reinforcements yet. What if they never do?

**Simmons:** Why would you want more Blues?

**Nirgge****:** Well, we have this new base and all this new equipment. Who else are we gonna test it on?

**Findor****:** Who cares!? The war would be over!

**Nirgge****:** Oh. Great.

**Baraggan****:** You're suggesting we _don't_ attack them? Nirgge, that's borderline traitorism!

**Findor****:** I think the word you're looking for is treason, sir.

**Nirgge****:** Never mind, Sarge. I was wrong. If the war's over and we win, well that's just great.

**Baraggan****:** Of course it would be!

**Nirgge****:** I mean, no more early morning runs. No more training exercises. Why would we need to do any of that stuff, right? We won!

**Baraggan****:** Right…?

**Nirgge****:** And all this new equipment—we can just let them fall into disrepair. I mean, we don't need it! We won't even need to test it, because we're winning. We're about to make it all obsolete.

**Baraggan****:** (_groans_)

**Nirgge****:** And just think about this, Sarge! No more boring staff meetings! Ever!

**Baraggan****:** (_groans some more; runs back to the hill_) Hey, Blue! There's uh, gonna be a slight delay in your destruction! Hang tight! (_to Nirgge and Findor_) Maybe I should call our new command. They'll tell us what we should do.

**Nirgge****:** Heh, yeah, the old one was so great, the new one's gotta be even better.

_A radio sounds._

**Baraggan****: **Command! Come in, Command! This is Blood Gulch Outpost-… wait… I mean, Findor, what's the name of this place again?

**Findor****:** Valhalla.

**Baraggan****:** Valhaldagir-jaggle-callit... thingy... Outpost Number One! Do you read? Come in! I need advisement on what to do about Blue Team!

**Findor****:** What are you doing?

**Nirgge****:** What do you mean, what am I doing? We have one enemy here. We can milk this for years!

**Baraggan****:** No, Blue Team! (_slowly_) Blue…

_Di-Roy waltzes up to Findor and Nirgge, who fail to notice him. He looks back and forth between who's talking._

**Nirgge****:** If we beat them, Command will just send us to some new base, where we have to fight a real team.

**Findor****:** So?

**Nirgge****:** So!? Do you want to fight one shitty enemy, or five real enemies?

**Baraggan****:** B-L-U-E. Blue! Try looking under "suck it!"

**Nirgge****:** You want me to help you subtract one from five? I know that's tough for you.

**Baraggan****:** Shut up.

**Di-Roy:** Hey guys.

**Findor****:** What are you doing here!?

**Di-Roy****:** Just gettin' parts from the crashed ship. What are you guys up to?

**Nirgge****:** We're deciding whether or not to kill you and wipe out your team forever.

**Di-Roy****:** Ah. Sounds tough.

**Nirgge****:** We're kind of splittin' the decision right now.

**Di-Roy****:** Do I get a vote?

**Findor****:** No! G-Get back to your base! Stop wandering around during your defeat. It's confusing!

**Di-Roy****:** Oh! Okay. Sorry! (_begins to head back towards his base_)

**Findor****:** And what are you workin' on?

**Di-Roy****:** Still not telling you!

**Baraggan****:** Hello? Hello? Hello? They hung up on me!

**Findor****:** Why?

**Baraggan****:** They said they didn't even have record of a Blue Team. Nothing on Blues at all in their computer system.

**Findor****:** Oh. … Ohhhh!

**Baraggan****:** What?

**Findor****:** We deleted them, remember? From Command computers. We wiped them out.

**Baraggan****:** We did?

**Findor****:** Yeah, don't you remember?

**Baraggan****:** Ohhh, right.

_Cuts to a flashback. Nirgge and Baraggan are standing behind Findor, who is looking at a computer._

**Baraggan****:** Findor, execute the hypotenuse initiative, and delete the Blues.

**Findor****:** (_presses a switch_) Done! The Blues now never existed. I also upgraded your pay scale while I was at it.

**Baraggan****:** Well deserved.

**Nirgge****:** Yeah, we win!

_Baraggan cocks his shotgun and shoots Nirgge in the head. Nirgge falls over._

**Nirgge****:** Blarg! I am dead, but that's okay, I don't deserve to enjoy victory. My life has meant nothing.

**Baraggan****:** What a great day! Findor, transform into Motorcycle Mode.

**Findor****:** _[monotone]_ You got it, sir. (_begins changing into a jeep_) Choop choop choop choop choop! Beep beep!

**Baraggan****:** Let's get out of here. (_hops on motorcycle-Findor and drives outside_) Yee-haw!

_End flashback._

**Nirgge****:** That's not what happened!

**Baraggan****:** Of course it is.

**Nirgge****:** Then how am I still alive?

**Baraggan****:** I ask myself that question every day. (_pauses_) Moto-Findor! Run him over.


End file.
